MEComposing

ABWB

2012-01-14T07:32:00.000+08:00

Seriously, when I look back to my college years... I can very well see how insufferable I was. I was arrogant, tactless, annoying, loud, and maybe a lot of times unkind. But the weirdest thing was, I had friends.

Last Christmas, we met up because Bhing was vacationing in London. That must be the first time we 5 were complete for 15 years! Yes, we lost touch. I fell in with another peer group from our class and saw them more often in the past decade and a half than my own peer group.

But now, I guess we're a little more back in each other's lives (especially since my son fell in love with my friend's daughter and vice versa, and Facebook keeps us connected). And again, sorry for the lack of eloquence, but it was so weird how my college friends would tell hubs how very particular I was, how very hard to please. Nothing like old friends to show you how much, or little, you've grown and changed over the years. Hehe.

This time, though, I hope we all really stay in touch.

Employed Sister

2012-01-07T07:50:00.000+08:00

I am super happy to share the news that my sister is now professionally employed in Detroit. I try not to imagine my baby sister (who cares if she's 25 years old already) driving in the snow though because I would worry all the time. Still, it's such a blessing to have her professional life start, finally.

And yes, now I need not worry about who's going to help my Mom pay bills.

She's a nurse and hopefully, more promising jobs await her.

A friend who has migrated to the US is a doctor, on the other hand, and I know she's pursuing a medical teaching course with a company that's teaching doctors various skills. They have the option to study consultant interview course, medical management course, and teach the teacher course). Well, maybe my sister can be trained in similar ways so she can someday teach new nurses the basics of newborn care, palliative care, etc.

I'd love for my sister to work in a hospital like my friend Jet, and work with NICU babies. I just know she'd be the same as Jet, holding those babies with more care and love that, even if the babies were born to druggie moms, they'd still get some love from the nurse that first took care of them. But all in good time. My sister is right where she should be to learn best... I'm sure she can move on to greater things when she's ready.

How Was Your 2011?

2012-01-03T06:02:00.000+08:00

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Do the school run :)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did not come up with any last year, won't be making any for the new one either.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
We were close once, so yes.

5. What countries did you visit?
Only HK/China.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Materially, our own home.
Personally, more dates and loving-loving with hubs.
Maternally, more patience and zeal to homeschool my boys.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 21 - I lost my engagement and wedding ring.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Embracing more Waldorf ideas :)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Mismanaging my time and energies, which affected my parenting a lot.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Illness, yes... allergies and a lump scare.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Books!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Yakee... for being so well-liked in school.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine... I had a harder time adjusting to the increased demands on ME and I wasn't gentle a lot of times.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Food?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our HK trip with my in laws.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Just the Way You Are (Bruno Mars)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner (kasi this time last year, I just gave birth)
iii. richer or poorer? poorer (materially)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
More writing, digiscrapping and just being still with my boys. Also, more travel?

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Staying up late and eating sweets (but oh well)

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Nothing special planned... we're just going to in laws.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes... with Yakee, as I watched him unfold into an older brother... with Yamee, for developing into an entire individual... with hubs, for working harder to provide for us and bond with the boys... with St. Michael Playhouse/Waldorf... and our allergologist :D

22. Who got together and who broke up?
Old HS friends got together and broke up.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's is a killer this season but I also fell in love with Modern Family, Game of Thrones and all the baking-related shows (Top Chef Just Desserts, Cake Boss, Fabulous Cakes)

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I can't think of anyone.

25. What was the best book you read this 2011?
Have a Little Faith by MItch Albom... I guess you could say, it pushed me to have more faith than I ever did.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Can't think of anything.

27. What did you want and got?
Healthy boys :)

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
An old one... 3 idiots. Next is HP:DH II of course!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 34 and I did nothing special :)

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Our own house... or my sister coming home for Christmas.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Haha.. I discovered convertible, multiway wear and bent on overhauling my wardrobe to have more of those, and just accessorize! Is that a concept?

32. What kept you sane?
Hubs... for being constant, gentle, unconditionally loving.
My internet friends... they're the only adult conversations I get.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Who played Khal Drogo? Haha.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Sadly, I am ambivalent and indifferent to most.

35. Who did you miss?
My sister. Pyro.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Hmm...maybe Sigrid Perez, for having 8 kids and still managing to further her advocacies.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
I've always known it but it's been super reinforced this year: my marriage is the most important relationship in the family.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"and as the years go by
our friendship will never die
you see it's our destiny
for you've got a friend in me"

I Was This Thin

2011-11-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

Yup. I think this is probably me at my overall thinnest, which was in college, because the commute to PNU from our house was taking a toll on me. Yup again, it's only travel to and from Taft, basically, but that was already FAR for me since I walked to school most of my life.

This was taken when I was 18 years old... at the graduation rites of our batch of volunteer peer counselors for the Foundation for Adolescent Development, Inc.

I was so thin, no? I couldn;t help but cringe when I first saw this pic again. I did not have meat at all! Gosh.

And though I am very much overweight now, there really is some sort of acceptance of these curves and bulges now... and a lack of desire to be that thin again.

I will be happy with a maximum of 20-25 pounds lost... very doable if only i'd stick to a healthy diet and regular exercise. To reach my weight here, I would have to lose around fifty pounds.

No, thanks!

Move, Moving, Gone

2011-11-15T22:39:00.000+08:00

As I was discussing her moving options with my sister, we got to talking about Illinois movers and how Illinois Moving Companies seem to have the best packages in the US.

You see, there is an offer from a relative to help my sister out, but this is all the way in Texas. She's in Detroit now. And she wants to move to Florida (I am assumming the boyfriend is there). I really don't care where she moves so long as it's not a deader zone than Michigan. I have been encouraging her to accept any job offer, even those that are so far from her nursing degree and licence, like dog walker or receptionist... even maybe a shop employee. I even told her my former manager worked as a cashier at a grocery when she first migrated in the US, and to think they had ships and breeding horses here in the Philippines. That's dignity of labor... and any job will allow her to learn more about the culture of her adopted country. She's been there 3 years and has not been exposed to much... only the drama offered by our relatives.

So really, I want her to move.

Moving To Illinois is also an option, but she doesn't know anyone from there but loved the windy city of Chicago when she visited some 2 years ago. Plus, it also has all four seasons but don't quite get as frigid as Detroit.

Some sign on where she should go would be most welcome, Lord. I just want her gone from Detroit... and living a better life (where she's self-realizing and self-reliant).

Will You Get a Driver?

2011-11-11T16:00:00.001+08:00

One of the things you think about if and when you're already super rich is... will you get your own driver or still drive yourself?

Now that a personal auto transport is not the monopoly of the rich anymore, and it's really very convenient for families to have their own auto transport to ferry them to and fro school runs as well as go on road trips with, the need for a driver suddenly becomes a question... even for the middle class.

After all, not all women drive... or feel compelled to learn. And most moms also work now so they can't really be the ones doing the ferrying too.

But then... a friend's driver impregnated their nanny. The next driver again had dalliances with the next nanny. I'm not sure I like to invite such possibilities.

Plus, I like the conversations we have during a car ride. Also not sure if I want someone else listening in on those.

Still, I'd really love to have my own auto transport someday. Even a cheapie Jazz or Getz will do :)

After A While

2011-11-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

This poem, After A While by Veronica Shofftstall, was very popular back when I was in college. And it resonated very deeply in me because I was still very insecure then... unsure of what will happen to me, if I will ever be happy, what will come of my dreams.

It encouraged me to go, be my own person, and tend to ME.

This other poem, I read when I was already about to get married, I think. It seemed fitting... after finding yourself, you can now lose it again and evolve because you can also truly love. The original poem is more beautifully written... but it's still really nice to have grown up and be able to appreciate this one.

It validates all the pain and drama of the yesteryears.

The Silver Lining in the Lost P10k

2011-10-21T14:44:00.001+08:00

I lost my wallet today. Or it was stolen. I'm pretty sure I didn't drop it because I never put it out when I was out, so I'm sure it was 'picked' from my bag while I was busy with something else. Maybe when I was just talking to my son. Maybe when I dozed off for a while. I dunno.

And as luck would have it, it contained P10k.

P5k of which was meant for my sons' party entertainment, which I meant to deposit in the bank today so I don't end up spending the money on anything else. Ironic, isn't it?

The rest is money intended for this weekend and the coming week... from cab fares to shopping for treats (Yakee's once a week treat of a popsicle after class while I get ensaymada), to allowance for going to Play Pilipinas and the field trip. I brought all the money because I was also buying Cetaphil lotion and I didn't think to leave the rest.

And now, all's gone.

And I am sad, of course.

But in a way, I feel relieved... because it could have been worse. I could have lost the P40k I withdrew the other day.

And I guess I can't really feel an overwhelming loss because the money was basically intended for wants. WANTS.

We'd still have food this week. I didn't lose the HMO cards so we could still have the checkups we're scheduled for next week. The credit card companies will be only too happy to replace my cards, and the cards haven't been charged by the thied (I really think he just threw away the wallet after getting the money, without checking the secret compartment). The only hassle would be having the EON card replaced. I may need Cetaphil for my eczema, but it's not like I have a loved one in the hospital needing the money.

That's the silver lining. It may be some weird way of making me realize that I am still blessed. P10k is not a deal breaker for me. I still have a biscotti in the ref to cheer me up.

Of course, it's a stressor for me and hubs since we'd need money for our wants... but at least, they're wants. Not needs. We're in a place where we can have so many wants. I know other people aren't so lucky. I now other people would need to work for two or three months just to earn that.

Which brings me to me... I am not earning money. Now, I may have to... because I was the one who lost the money.

*~*

I just realized that my engagement and wedding rings were in the wallet I lost.

Now, I feel weak.

Bye, Kuya Rich

2011-10-11T01:54:00.000+08:00

I met you about 15 years ago. You were surly, weird (artistic and talented, but weird), hairy and non-fashionable, always late, uncompromising, idealistic.... You were also generally cool, steady, funny, smart and no matter how much you despised our girly drama, you were our friend. I like to think you even acted as a sort of big brother to me.

I only really knew that part of you. Talking to your wife at your wake, I couldn't help but find it both sad and beautiful that in you was a loving husband and father as well, one I really didn't get to see/meet since we've all generally lost touch. It would have been nice to see how fatherhood could have tempered your tongue and mellowed your stare. It would have been nice trading parenting tricks with you. It would have been nice to have stopped being a 'younger sis' to you and be equals for once (after all, I now have two kids!).

When I heard the news that you passed away already... I was really torn between being sad for your family who has to go on without you, and relieved for you because your pains have come to an end.

A song that you wrote and that we used to sing all those days ago when we were active in peer counseling keeps playing in my mind.

"Narito ako, kaibigan ko.
Narito ako, handang maglingkod sayo.
Tawagan moko, sasamahan kita
Tawagan moko, hindi ka na nag-iisa."

I wasn't much of a friend to you in your last days... but maybe, this song will remind me to be a friend to your wife and son from hereon. I told hubs that someday, I will buy your son his own guitar... because I would want him to continue your legacy of music, poetry and art.

You were surly, weird and not fashionable. But your wife is right... you were a good man. People will always remember you as one... and I am grateful that I have had the privilege of knowing you, learning from you, being touched by your life.

At 34

2011-10-03T23:36:00.000+08:00

This has got to be my first birthday ever that I didn't have cake. And ice cream.

In a way, that is sad... not really because of the cake and ice cream (we could easily have gotten one) but because it really means I am all grown up. Some concerns I have cannot be fixed by ice cream and cake anymore. And my birthday, although I am thankful for it, is now really just another day in my series of days of growing and being.

And there are more pressing things on my mind.

Like my sons, who need me, and are reacting negatively to my bad mood.

And my bad mood... mainly because I think I still feel choiceless and limited with what I have chosen, instead of empowered and enlightened.

And my sudden penchant for multi-wear.

And the eczema on my hands. It pains me to do the simplest tasks like type this, or caress/carry my sons.

And that great question again of where do I go next, considering I already have plans and actually could start homeschooling already.

Sigh.

It's my birthday today and I am pondering if I am serving my life purpose. I even asked hubs to go to a Christian worship... in pursuit of answers.

I can't say I'm lost because I know what I want and I know some of the ways to get there. But I feel... diminished. Deflated.

I only pray I finally put myself to better use.

And I am thankful that I got someone who is pushing me to keep my word on a supposed birthday gift to myself: finally write a storybook.

AAL IZZ WELL.

Sis, How About Studying Further?

2011-09-20T11:30:00.002+08:00

Talking to my sister last week, I found out she's looking for a home care job while waiting for hospital vacancies. She said she was advised to go work in home care for a while because it was good training for a newbie nurse like her. Plus, she doesn't have to do shifting work just yet. Then again, we are all naturally concerned with the idea of her driving in the snow to visit patients.

I now have three relatives in Detroit who are nurses: one in research, one in a hospital setting, one in home care. Too bad there isn't a doctor among them. I wonder if a nurse can take up a medical management course as well? Maybe someone who manages home care nurses, no?

And it's not like being a nurse isn't good enough. It's just that there is no doctor in the family yet. I really would appreciate someone who's an expert on sickness, and who can probably get us discounts on professional fees sometime in the future.

Plus, I recently stumbled upon a "teach the teacher course" for doctors as well as other training courses (consultant interview course, CV writing guide, leadership, time management, presentation skills and clinical governance, among others). Maybe I should look for a similar one catering to skills improvement for nurses. That way, my sister could have a chance at better opportunities.

What say you, sister, you up to studying again?

Color Me Badd and All 4 One in Manila

2011-09-09T18:23:00.000+08:00

I accidentally saw the Ovation Productions ad in 2nd Avenue while I was surfing the TV for something to watch. I immediately told my hubby that we're watching this concert.

High school, baby!

I never knew I would get to dance to "I Wanna Sex You Up" with CMB singing it live!

All in all... Araneta Coliseum was definitely not filled up (they should just have held it at Music Museum, more intimate and probably more fun for everyone) but I was/am so happy that CMB and All 4 One gave such a great show. All their hits... I actually forgot all about All 4 One's "So In Love" and "I Swear" songs. Haha. I mean, I just knew I knew them from before... who cares what they sang?

And then I realized, a lot of their songs were favorite wedding songs, haha.

I also loved the tribute they did for Michael Jackson. I loved all the a capella moments. I loved that they all still sounded great (excepting the guy who grew fat in CMB, you could tell he was gasping for breath especially towards the end of the concert).

The concert really took me back to a time and place I've quite forgotten, not really missed, but also enjoyed and loved. Heck, high school was a time when you felt everything, lived everything. I even told hubs, I want to throw an 80s/90s party for our 10th anniversary instead... and we'd just play all the MTVs we loved.

One other thing, there was an old lady in front of us who was giving us the eye for shrieking... and the concert was sooo moving for me that it brought me back to my juvenile self... and screamed and shouted and clapped all the more to provoke and annoy said old woman. Mean, I know.

*~*

It's really gratifying to
1) listen to fave songs of yesteryear sung live
2) finally be able to afford concerts
3) feel empowered to attend concerts just because
4) have great memories attached to those songs
5) realize how much you've grown and that you've made peace with that pimply, awkward teenager
6) know that there are more has-beens coming to Manila!

What's Next for Mec?

2011-08-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

I am feeling a little envious of my cousin, who's taken up caregiving and is now taking up reflexology classes. I can start looking at online courses again, I am sure, and there are enough online degree programs in education (or at least, distance ones) but I really want to take up baking and I am intent on that crash course on Steiner education.. both courses are more practical. Plus, I don't have my own fully-equipped kitchen to just tune in to Youtube tutorials on embellishing cupcakes and whipping up a perfect souffle. Oh, and I also really want to finsih my sign language classes and move on to Level 4 (interpreter status).

Maybe I should badger my sister to look into http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ instead. Maybe there's some enrichment class she can take while trying for the NCLEX and can get aid for it. It would be a more productive use of her time in the US.

But apart from my duties as mom and wife, and breastfeeding advocacy duties, what's next for me? What more can I do? Who else can I become? Because I certainly have to keep growing and self-realizing!

Web Hosting and Wordpressing

2011-08-04T07:57:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine recently made the jump to Wordpress, complete with getting her own domain name and web hosting. She has started the laborious (for me) process of migrating and I really wish her well.

And of course, I am a tad envious. But I am still very much intimidated by the arduous task of switching and not having Google to back my blog up, because it's really quite safe with Blogger right now. A lot of my friends are already hosted in budget hosting sites like Hostgator or Bluehost or Godaddy. And you can see from web hosting reviews which ones are value for money. Still, I am not yet pushed to take the great leap.

Maybe when I know I can dedicate more time to monetizing. Or blogging regularly.

HP Ends

2011-07-08T15:04:00.000+08:00

I now know that 'it all ends' on July 14. I still don't know when I am watching the movie though... and torn between watching it in 3D (IMAX theater) or in grandeur (Resorts World splendor). I am leaning towards crying in grandeur, haha.

I expect the actors to move on with their lives and finally really churn out other movies. I wonder though if they'll get paid as much as they were for the Harry Potter installations. Emma Watson became the youngest highest paid actress for the last 3 films, I think (which gave her around $20M). I wonder if the British has an equivalent to a 401k gold account. Or maybe, it's just celebs' accountants who are investing in IRA gold and arranging for IRA gold transfer later.

Oh, but I digress.

I cannot begin to describe the sadness that I know will accompany my last visit to the cinema for Harry Potter. And I think it's partly because I am not sure if my sons will ever be as big a fan as I am... and since they did not live during the time when you actually wait in line for the next book, there won't be that anticipation anymore for what will happen next... part of HP's charm.

I really think that's the reason why I haven't read Game of Thrones yet... even though I have had the 4 books for almost a month now. I know the 5th book is out there already too... but dare I fall in love again?

Ladies are Always First with A!life Health Supplements for Women

2011-06-24T19:20:00.002+08:00

Pascual Consumer Health Care Corp. (PascualLab) recently invited bloggers as it launched its first line of health supplements that are specially made for women last June 9, 2011 at Tian-di Heaven and Earth Urban Spa in San Juan, Greenhills.

I actually had no idea what the product was and was happily surprised that they were health supplements from all-natural ingredients targetting women on the go. Briefly, they launched the following:

A!life Control - carbohydrate blocker for those who likes their rice or pasta. It contains Phase 2 (a white bean extract proven to minimize carb absorption). Supplement is best taken 2 hours before or after a carb-ladden meal. "Block carbohydrates. Get Slim."

A!life Posture - has Ostivone, which stimulates the formation of new bone cells and inhibits the loss of healthy bone cells. As brand ambassador Shawn Yao put it, "You can be as slim and pretty all you want but if your bones cannot support you, then everything will be pointless" (not exact words). She's got a great point, right? We do tend to forget about our bones and usually focus more on our skin. This is best taken with Calcium. "Stronger Bones. Better Posture."

A!life Energy - now, this is the Calcium supplement and it's all from Malunggay. The best part of this is that Malunggay also contains zinc, vitamin C, amino acids and other nutrients. With malunggay supplements, you really cover a lot of bases because this particular plant/food product is so good. "Natural Power. Extra Energy."

A!life Protect - this contains Pylogenol, a super antioxidant that helps protect the immune system defend against free radicals and facilitates skin lightening. Perfect for times when you can't get your eight hours of sleep or this rainy season. "Protect Health. Be Radiant."

A!life Restore - this is the anti-aging supplement of the bunch, with Hyaluronic Acid (HA) that restores moisture from within. Prevent wrinkles and fine lines by using sunscreen, moisturizing, hydrating and popping this pill! "Restore moisture. Look young."

A!life Trim - contains ampalaya and banaba and helps lower blood glucose levels which is helpful in this day and age of processed foods and easily-had sweets (I think I ate 14 cookies yesterday! gaah). "Control Sugar. Be trim."

Some pictures I took (and two from OMD Philippines) include:

the host Bianca Valerio was soooo perky and refreshing, I felt her talents were wasted on us bloggers who didn't respond so much to her (mostly because I think the bloggers weren't comfortable in the standing room only setup with camera crews in front)

some of the ambassadors for A!life and Pascuallab representatives

"We make time for what we choose to have in our life." and "It sometimes really gets exhausting but I would rather have this than empty days." (Lucy Torres Gomez, who was absolutely luminous!)

Everybody takes a pose. Brand Ambassadors were also officially presented to the public too. A!life Protect Brand Ambassador Ms. Lexie Schultze, A!life Control Brand Ambassador Cong. Lucy Torres-Gomez, Pascual Corp. Communications Vice President Ms. Mia Pascual, St. Lukes and Veterans Hospital Oncologist Dr. Christina Galvez, A!life Sr. Brand Manager Ms. Diana Gener, A!life Restore Brand Ambassador Ms. Patty Bettita, A!life Energy Brand Ambassador Ms.Lorraine Lapus, and A!life Posture Brand Ambassador Ms. Shawn Yao

Erika Paredes was sooo cute! Again, if we bloggers weren't standing, it would have been a more interactive and dynamic session for sure. It just felt awkward to be gathered round her, standing like that, hehe. But I loved her tips on creating slimmer silhouettes.

There were several mini-talks for the bloggers who attended as a treat and I attended the Makeover one. There was also a yoga class, one about making healthy drinks, and one on beauty regimens and exfoliating. After all these classes, there was a short dance class where everyone was invited to dance to varied energetic and sexy Latin dances.

So, yeah... this blogcon was fun. Illuminating too, aside from providing everyone that reality check to embrace a healthier lifestyle. The ambassadors did not just pitch for their brands but also reminded guests to exercise, eat well, manage stress as we all perform the many roles we play.

All bloggers got to take home some samples of the supplements (most were looking for the carb blockers, haha) and a spa certificate at Tian-di Heaven and Earth Urban Spa. Nice!

Look good, feel good, perform better... all possible with A!life :)

*~*

Thanks to Yehey, PascualLab and OMD Philippines, Inc. for the invite!

Heat Is Killing Me

2011-05-03T19:46:00.000+08:00

This picture is deceiving because I think I look lean here when I'm really not. Last weighing said I'm 142 lbs. still (which is still a lot of weight lost, yey) but I am far from toned and firm :)

But the heat is killing me. I have severe acne again all over my face. I cannot exercise because I have been nursing rhinitis ever since the heat really gripped the country. I have also had headaches and muscle pain.

Argggh.

And now, I also have sore throat because I ate too much ice cream one really hot day. Yes, I blame everything on the heat. If I can go around naked, I will!

And no, I cannot imagine how I survived summer last year...

Another Grace as Nurse

2011-04-21T18:48:00.003+08:00

I recently managed to reconnect with childhood friends, one of which is now based in the States and shares my sister's name, Grace.

I heard she's taking up Nursing now too and I was happy to tell my old friend that our Grace, meanwhile, is reviewing for the NCLEX. That will be two Graces in medical nursing uniforms, hopefully, in the near future.

If it were me, I wonder if I could get away with cotton scrubs in shades of pink, orange/peach or lemon. Hehe. Maybe I should check out http://www.blueskyscrubs.com/ to see if such shades are common.

Anyway, I used to play older sister for this Grace. I used to defend her from all the teasings, especially when she had to have her hair shaved for a while due to persistent irritations on her scalp. I watched her grow from a toddler to a young child, then watched her be adopted by their aunt. Then, we bid adieu as they migrated to the US. I know she has a kind heart, just like my sis, and will make a great, really caring nurse. So, yes, I wish this other Grace good luck too. I hope my prayers that they make it will help.

Education in the Future

2011-04-15T11:08:00.001+08:00

I have been discussing education, in general, with fellow Moms. Parents, after all, stress over where and when to send their kids to preschool... and which big school to aim for.

I told them, same thing I told my husband, that I/we will/should play this one by ear. For one thing, online courses are already pretty common nowadays. Kids as young as 16 are taking distance education programs from UP's Open University. My professor friend is in charge of online degree programs in education at PNU. It's not anymore important to really attend the usual colleges because now, kids can just attend specialized institutions for design, culinary, etc.

Too bad we don't have anything remotely resembling Free Application For Federal Student Aid (like the one at http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/) for students who may be looking for such opportunities. But still, my point is, who knows where education and other upheavals/technologies will take us? :)

Investing in Gold

2011-04-09T05:29:00.000+08:00

With the inflation nowadays, it's really kinda stupid to just keep your savings/money in a bank. Even if it was put on time deposit. The interest is just not enough to cover the money value lost due to inflation. Unless you're investing in, I don't know, the Australian dollar and Chinese Yuan? Or maybe delving into mutual funds.

Enter investments in precious metals like jewelry and IRA gold. I think they also have gold 401k accounts in the US, which supposedly yield more for the same level of investment.

So, I guess when my sister starts earning regularly, I will ask her to look into 401k gold investments so that by the time she retires, she can maybe have a bigger resort made than our uncle, who has recently cashed in his 401k returns.

Or at least, she'd just really be comfortable in old age.

Top Chef Masters, Season 1 and 2

2011-04-06T14:34:00.000+08:00

I have just recently finished watching the first two seasons of Top Chef Masters. Gave my husband a challenge because there weren't enough people seeding the episodes... but yeah, he found a way to get me each one of them.

My fave for Season One was Hubert Keller. He's just so sweet and dignified, gentle and calm. So, it was really a bummer that he got the lowest scores in the finale. Then again, even if I haven't really tasted it, I also think truffles are overrated.

My fave for Season Two is Susur Lee, mostly because he's Asian. Same reason I was also rooting for Anita Lo from the first season (but I think, she just really went downhill after winning one of the elimination rounds). Again, a bummer that he got the lowest scores in the finale, haha.

I loved Season One because I think most of the contestants there were really dignified... except the batch with Ludo Lefebvre (though, he's really, really yummy!). They exuded the Masters aura :)

But the challenges for Season Two were really tougher. I couldn't sit still, considering the season has ended!

And now... I am looking forward to Season Three, which premieres tonight! I will miss Kelly Choi though (and her stylist's preference to dress her in shades of red and purple).

Now... hopefully, hubs can also finish downloading Top Chef Just Desserts too.

Lost at 33

2011-03-19T06:55:00.000+08:00

I am blessed. But I am also at a point where I don't know what's next aside from raising a family.

I am sad about something but I am not sure which, nor why.

I am praying the tears will stop from flowing and I will be engaged in more doing instead.

An unhappy me cannot be a good wife and mother... so, what's wrong with me?

Winter is Costing my Family

2011-03-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

My parents' car in the US has been snowed in half the time this winter... and it's always raining and snowing there still. I'm betting even a Ford Expedition cannot stand to remain outdoors in such snow. It would be dented and frozen and caving in with all the snow!

My sister has to literally dig the car through the snow every two hours or so, otherwise, the snow would turn to ice. It's such tedious work, she says, as opposed to just cleaning the car in the summer with a bucket of soapy water and hosing it down with a water pump. Add to her woes the fact that something seems to be wrong with the car's timing belt too. Oh well.

Is it an upside that gas is so high that they won't be doing much personal/leisure driving to save on costs?

The Case of my Lola

2011-03-02T18:33:00.001+08:00

My lola wants to go back to the Philippines because she's 85 years old already and wants to escape the harsh winters of Michigan. Unfortunately, her pension was awarded her because she's a senior citizen. It's not something she worked for in her youth that she can bring and use anywhere, like other American citizens.

Therein lies her problem. Right now, we're looking into resources for seniors to see a workaround on this issue... so she can still come home with medicare supplement to enjoy. After all, she's undergone surgery for her hips and is already taking maintenance drugs for her heart.

I don't think there's a need for burial insurance for her though... that's something all her kids and grandkids can spring for... plus, my father's plots are there for her to use. Not that I'm expecting her to pass away anytime soon. Her mother reached the grand old age of 96, her uncle, 102. :)

Anyway, I just hope she can come home soon... and maybe, my youngest paternal uncle will also grab his chance to get married. Haha.

Run United 1 for 2011 Blogger Event

2011-02-25T13:30:00.000+08:00

This blog post is soooo long overdue, haha.

I attended a blogger event for Run United 1 for 2011 by Unilab at Borough at the Podium last January 31, 2011. Yes, I know... almost a month to the date, eh?

Anyway, it was a blogcon for the Run happening on March 06, 2011 at the Fort. Registration is finished already but everybody is welcome to the Unilab ActiveHealth Village for free consultations and even games :)

2nd floor of Borough

Dennis, Unilab's official photographer

Maqui registering for the event on an iPad

partaking of the spicy chicken stuff they served

with bloggers Mauie and Julie

us again with Maqui (Mauie's son) and Leirs

me with friends and Rio

* the last 4 photos are courtesy of Dennis/Unilab

I really hope to at least be at the Unilab ActiveHealth Village and also get to cheer hubby for once. See you all there!!!

From 190+ to 140+ Pounds

2011-02-24T17:29:00.000+08:00

That's around fifty pounds lost, right? :)

Thank God nobody believed it when I was pushing 200 lbs. back in October-Novemeber... and that people see me as relatively slim now even if I'm still overweight :)

But I have committed a crime to my body... I'm still not exercising even if the varicose veins issue has resolved itself on its own. How can I look magnificently toned at my ninang duties at a wedding in June?

Sigh.

I shouldn't be just enjoying this body... I should be taking care of it and maintaining it.

Some 15 pounds more before I am a healthy weight again!

(oh and yeah, am loving the appreciation I get from strangers, bwahahaha)

What is Valentines Without Chocolates?

2011-02-14T23:30:00.000+08:00

What is Valentines Without Chocolates? Not a great Valentines, that is.

Anyway, am just happy though that hubby picked up on my hint. You see, I recently discovered Lindt's Lindor bars and loved, loved, loved the white one. It took me back to the time when I can still enjoy Cadbury Dream Eggs (and hubs had to get that from Singapore pa!).

The filling is just sooo divine!

Hubs got the assorted pack though, not the bar. Well, I guess I can now try the other flavors :)

And I do have 3 white Toblerones.

I Have a Problem

2011-01-31T11:46:00.000+08:00

I am down to 150 lbs again, which is great right?

Plus, I have this grand plan to start dieting and exercising this Feb so I'd look fab by June (for my primary sponsor stint at a wedding) and can join the Mommy Milkshake marathon in August.

But... but... all the weight loss is threatening my investment in clothes. Case in point, the Maki pants of my Eden Bento Box is already hanging real low around my hips. And the tops are also getting slightly loose so the collar is hanging lower on my chest.

Yikes.

I'm already wondering if I can sell them on Ebay if they don't fit anymore. Right now, that's about P7k worth of clothes that's being threatened. If my Aria Nursing tank also starts getting loose, that's another P1k.

And don't get me started on my other nursing tops... two of which are hanging big and shapeless around me. The only way I can salvage them is to maybe wear them with shorts... but I still have varicose veins everywhere!

Argh.

Losing weight though is a happy problem right? Right?

Erratic Weather, New Diseases?

2011-01-30T09:55:00.003+08:00

I am not really monitoring the news but I have heard of the flooding in Saudi Arabia. There are other countries getting flooded, I know, and our country has several areas flooded since December. Then, it's 11 degree Centigrade cold in Baguio. And negative 18 degrees in Detroit. Everywhere, the weather is either unusual or extreme.

Could this possibly lead to newer diseases? I'm just assuming that mosquitoes, for example, will get more resistant and develop an immunity that will affect their bites. Plus, there's always that rat poop in floods that can lead to deaths. These two can easily lead to bloodstream infection that weakens a body fast and is slow to respond to drugs.

And what of the allergic rhinitis, asthma and colds that behoove us all since late November? I am currently taking antibiotics for sinusitis that's giving me headaches for the past few days. I've been nasal dripping, sniffing, coughing for a month! Ewww.

I know there are many institutions fighting new diseases and infections everyday but am sure the weather ain't helping them.

Selfishly though, does this mean our summer will be mild? Because I still have nightmares over how hot it was last year. I know I was pregnant then but the heat was just really unmageable.

Almost Bye Time, Mom

2011-01-27T09:36:00.000+08:00

I really enjoyed having my Mom this time because she stayed here in Manila most of the time. She also really bonded with her grandkids, which I really, really, really wanted.

But come dawn of Saturday, she's heading back to join my sister in the US again. Sadness.

I can just imagine she'd be crying so much this time because she'd be missing 3 grandkids who she played with, took care of, shouted at, put to sleep, fed and sang to.

Sigh.

I really wish God will be so kind as to allow my Mom more years to see her grandkids grow.

Big Bad Blogger Hoopla

2011-01-24T01:44:00.001+08:00

I was surprised to see texts to me asking who the Big Bad Blogger was. I had no idea why there's suddenly a Big Bad Blogger (since I know for a fact that there are tons of them haha) so despite lacking sleep, I had to go online and find out.

I can't say I'm shocked about who the blogger is and the PR company involved, nor the lengths they've gone through just to generate income... I am surprised though at how lucrative the blogging business has become and how more of the bloggers I know who are pleading for decency among bloggers are actually, well, paid hands.

Then again, that's just more hypocrisy for you. But at least, this is out now so maybe the sharks will lie low for a few months before putting pressure on businesses again. The blogger wars and issues has just gotten bigger.

Meanwhile, I sort of pity BBB because bloggers everywhere are looking for him and he might be cyber lynched if enough evidence are given to identify him. I pity him because he's not alone... there are a lot of other blogggers like him. And they are both perpetrators to and victims by the PR companies and desperate/corrupt businesses. After all, no blogger wakes up thinking he or she can just ask for P8k per positive blog post.

Games of Chance

2011-01-22T23:57:00.000+08:00

Hubs and I were talking about playing poker and what-not, and how he used to play all day in college, not really because he was addicted to gambling. He was more hooked on the social thrill of beating other guys up. He also told me what one of the people working for Resorts World says about their casinos: in principle, it really isn't different from an all night videoke, or going dancing, or going to a girlie bar or even shopping, watching movies or dining out. You spend money to be entertained.

It made me remember all those basketball betting boys and men used to do when it's basketball finals and Ginebra is competing. It made the games all the more fun and competitive for them, and then there's the chance of winning some cash. Am not sure if there's much sports betting being done now. All I see nowadays are men hooked on horse races and am not sure if that's considered a sport.

Games of chance. They are actually fun for the thrill, and maybe if you're winning. It's just really bad if a person starts pinning his hopes and dreams for that one in a million possibility of a big win.

Tayo'y Hindi Tigang

2011-01-17T03:01:00.002+08:00

Cases in point:

* Our coastline is around 36,000 kilometers long... halos doble po ng coastline ng USA. Ako'y tuo namang nababagabag before when I read novels where kids actually don't see the sea for years... or all their lives. IMHO, sadyang kaawa-awa naman po talaga ang hindi man lang nakakakita ng sunset sa beach. Susmio, kahit never ako natuto lumangoy... kahit kelan hindi ko ipagpapalit ang Pacific Ocean natin. If it's good enough for whales, it should be good enough for everyone!!!! Feel ko nga, bigyan lang ng proper education and training ang Badjaos natin... we'd Olympic Gold Medal ourselves sa swimming eh.

* Gusto mo freshwater? Aba, we have 211 lakes, 18 major rivers, and 22 marshes, swamps, and reservoirs. Kaya kahit super umaakyat ako ng Banahaw via GuisGuis, o kaya naman sa Sto. Tomas sa Cordillera, o dili kaya naman sa Daraitan sa Rizal, or sa Apo pa... siguradong me lawa dyan, o kaya ilog. Kung sa Halcon ka nga aakyat, magsasawa ka sa "water source" eh. Why else would the Ifugaos construct rice terraces kung walang tubig up there, diba nga?

* Ah gusto mo galing sa alulod? Pwes, umaabot lang naman po ng around 63 cm. of rain ever ang dumadaan sa alulod ng mga bahay natin (and with the floods, you'd even wonder bakit 63 cm. lang!). At yang tubig na yan na naglilinis ng bubong ang syang isa sa mga tunay na nakapagpaligaya sakin nung bata ako... where I first practiced the art of taking a shower (as opposed to taking a bath, powtek kayo!). Ultimately nga, naging daan pa yang "playing in the rain" moments ko to realize na I was actually growing breasts na. Go figure.

* Ah gusto mo mas subtle sa ulan? We have dew and fog and humidity. Mornings in the Cordillera can't help but make you believe that if you stick out your tongue, you'd actually get water from the fog enveloping you. Sometimes, you don't even have to water your plants anymore. Talagang wet na lang ang lupa.

At dahil tayo'y hindi tigang, we have more fun!

Cases in point:

seafood - hello... siguro mga 1% lang sa total world population lang ang ayaw sa any kind of seafood. Well ako, am in love with them. Masarap ang maya-maya pag fresh and mataba tas bagong prito. At nagpapasalamat akong naiiwan ang mga batong kinakapitan ng mga liswik sa dalampasigan, para maani at ibenta sa palengke. Ilang klaseng tuna nga ba meron tayo? Sa Calapan nga, people report that they have to bury caught giant tuna (think tuna that are as long as the average Pinoy is tall) because there are not enough vessels with reefer outlets to transport these to Manila. Susmio, itaas ang kamay ng hindi pa nakakatikim ng "ketong" na kinusido... pramis, kulang pa ang langit mo! And do I need to remind anybody pa ba of shrimps and crabs and oysters and clams... Kung mahilig ka sa exotic, we have octopus and turtles even! Aba, ultimong seaweed masarap i-enselada. Kung hindi ito ang paraiso, ewan ko na talaga!

water fun - forget the pools with wave generators... we have so many white-sand beaches (Galera, Boracay, Panglao) where we can lounge in our string bikinis while enjoying a massage. Northern Mindanao offers such adventures as surfing (Siargao) and white-water rafting (Cagayan). Subic offers parasailing... Batangas and Mindoro offer great diving sites. Even Manila Bay offer Dragon Boat rowers a lot of space to exercise. Have you seen kids playing by the beach? Ang gandang tingnan diba, kahit nognog na sila?

but what really is the greater implication?

Simple lang... we are far richer than we really believe for to the extent that Water gives life, the Filipno is being allowed to live. We have water that is clean and relatively safe in abundance.

We can drink the water directly from faucets in most areas in the country, including Manila. Masbate nga lang ang alam kong amoeba-infested talaga ang water. Pero other than that... konting sala lang or wala... POTABLE na sadya ang tubig natin. May problems sa distribution services pero our water is still clean and safe. Kayang-kaya tayo talaga i-sustain. At ultimong Manila Bay na nakakatakot sa pollution nya, hindi pa talagang nakakamatay. Ask the lang the rowers who practice there every morning, who then take a quick dip after a rigorous session. Buhay pa sila!!!

Sabi, we can last up to 14 days without water before dying. In 14 days, kahit sino satin, in the next century or so, makakahanap tiyak ng water kaya guaranteed ang ating survival.

Ang tubig ng Pilipinas. Andyan lang sya, nag-aantay na kailanganin mong i-soothe ang parched throat mo... lagyan ng konting asin bago ipangmumog... ipangtayo ng bahay... pagpalutangan ng bangkang papel (or in my nephew's case, 3 rubber duckies)... pakuluan kasama ng mga bote ng anak mo... gamitin sa jacuzzi mo... gamiting patubig sa palayan mo... ibuhos sa bunbunan ng nagngangangawang bata para gawin syang Tao ng Diyos...

Kaya salamat talaga, ang Filipino ay hindi tigang.

====================

wrote this in June 2005 for our then Blogkadahan theme: "what we love most about being Filipino/the Philippines"

so much has happened since then, and I guess a lot of Filipinos are actually not appreciating all the rains that are destryong our crops. Even Ondoy took lives and a lot of our fellowmen did not have a very merry holiday season due to floods and destroyed properties. But the sadder thing is, our government has still not harnessed this great potential nor really taken care of this blessing. What have we done after Ondoy? Have we become more concerned for the resources we're enjoying?

Cousin Wants Scrubs

2011-01-05T07:00:00.000+08:00

My cousin, who just recently found a better paying job in a bigger hospital in Detroit, has asked my Mom to buy some navy blue scrubs for him at Bangbang. Just like my uncle before, he is unhappy about the nursing uniforms he finds in the US because of the material and make.

My Mom has checked out scrub uniforms sold in Divisoria because she was also planning to buy some for her caregiving work but didn't like the bold styles there. I explained that those in Divi are mostly scrubs for helpers and nannies and not really nursing ones. So, now she really has to go to Sta. Cruz.

I know some Filipinos in the US make a business of buying and selling scrubs to their peers because those offered there really leave much to be desired. I guess this means, we don't only export health care providers but also dress health care providers abroad as well.

The Downside of Christmas

2011-01-03T20:40:00.000+08:00

I'm still sick so I will rant.

One of the things I have always hated about Christmas is growing up watching relatives come flocking to our house, and my uncle's, and ask, ask, ask.

Yes, I don't have a naturally generous spirit.

But I have never liked having people sort of force my Mom to give them things, from food to clothes to money, in the spirit of Christmas. Plus, it never felt right how my Mom would already bless the parents but she'd also have to bless their kids, and then later on, their grandkids. Come on, my Mom had to wake up at 5 AM, the latest, every day of the year to earn her keep so it's really offensive that these people, who weren't in our lives the whole year, would oblige my Mom to give.

We got a reprieve, sort of, when my Mom migrated. But alas, she was here for this Christmas so there was that again. What's more, these relatives would even ask my Mom to hand something over for someone who did not come along with them, which my Mom refused to do. I guess it was a blessing that her GSIS pension wasn't released so she really had to put her foot down and only give to those who took the effort to be there.

And the asking/begging hasn't stopped. My uncle has been texting my cousin to ask my Mom to give aguinaldo to my cousin, whose wife has just given birth, for formula money. While I feel for the infant, who was born with an infection and requires a daily dose of antibiotics, my cousin was right in telling my uncle that I'd just go ballistic on them since I breastfeed so my cousin-in-law should to.

I know all about the gratitude that should come in being in the position to give, rather than ask. But it's not like my Mom hasn't helped these same people out many times already before. They just kept making the wrong choices. So, why should my Mom be obliged to provide for them when they're younger and stronger than she is?

Sigh.

I can rant and rant and rant. But it's really one of the downsides of Christmas. Even some of my nieces and nephews had the gall to demand aguinaldo from hubs, which made me decide all the more not to give them any. Some people just automatically assume it's other people's obligation to give. It is the season for giving but everyone should be giving. Some people just want to receive.

And frankly, it can get quite exhausting to help especially if they make you feel you're a bad person for not having satisfied them. Like my uncle. My Mom and my aunt has already blessed him immensely, but the way he asks, it's as if he hasn't been given any yet... and that my Mom should just really foot the bill for everything.

He should just have castrated his son if he didn't want another grandchild... right?

Sigh.

So crabby of me, I know.

Videoke Midi Player for Christmas

2010-12-29T00:44:00.000+08:00

What is Christmas without karaoke music, right?

That's what hubby thought so too. He justified the purchase of a video karaoke midi player among the different types of karaoke machines because we could easily buy an updated CD and songbook every three months or so. And for only P450.

Ours even offers MTV videos. So, Noche Buena found my Mom singing to Tennessee Waltz and my son singing Paparazzi. Hehe.

How much did our player cost? A cheap P1,500. It will not compare to a Magic Sing (which is a microphone with a built-in chip) in portability but our videoke midi player is pretty small and light. It's not even as thick or heavy as our MyBook external hard disk.

Unfortunately, however, I was barfing around that time and nursing a migraine to really enjoy our supposed Christmas present to ourselves.

A Bittersweet Picture

2010-12-20T01:56:00.002+08:00

This is a picture of my son hamming it up for the camera, enjoying a lollipop and posing beside his balikbayan box loot.

Note that we got a rainfall of wipes and diapers. I actually really love it when my parents buy these instead of boxes nd boxes of mashed potatoes and mac and cheese because wipes and diapers, I actually really consume. Well, my sons use them.

But this is so bittersweet for me. My mother wipes drool from mouths, messes on the floor and people's bottoms when she changes their diapers for a living in America. So, for her to save all her hard-earned money to buy her grandkids these is really ironic.

I don't know how else to get my sister to be more pro-active about getting a job and being independent so my parents need not worry about her anymore, nor work to support her there anymore.

I also don't know how else to get my parents to stop breaking their backs trying to earn a living where the climate is harsh and the people (even our relatives at that) are harsher.

One other ironic thing is, I actually have to specify what I want my parents to buy for us, otherwise, my Mom will just buy things she thought we'd like and use, which we wouldn't... and it'd be a waste of more money. And it's not like she'd stop buying and sending us stuff no matter how many times I tell, text, e-mail and write her that I'd rather she and my dad save up for their retirement instead. I have even been crass about it... I have told them that I'd appreciate if their affairs are all in order and they wouldn't leave us with debts, should they pass away already, so they really should just save their money. I have also brought up the topic of financing family getaways instead, if they don't want to go honeymooning by themselves. Unfortunately, since they never took us travelling when we were young, it still seems unmanageable for them now.

Howell.

So, now, I use my kids and our health. I ask for baby stuff and vitamin supplements and toilettries (soap, toothpaste, laundry detergent). I ask them to go to garage sales and get secondhand books and then ask for makeup samples at the mall. I just really wish though that my Mom will cease and desist from stuffed toys. hehe.

I just really hope to be able to love as much as my parents do. And I thank God my parents are still around, not only to enjoy their grandkids, but to be enjoyed by them too.

P43.1071

2010-12-19T23:31:00.002+08:00

That's the exchange rate for a dollar now. I didn't want to withdraw my newly-earned funds but I have to pay for my life insurance. Supposedly, payment of premiums ends this year with Philam Life but alas, there were some readjustments and I think I have to pay for two more years.

What's even weirder is that I got sold to purchasing said insurance because I was supposed to get P1M in case... but my plan is actually only P500,000. I'm just chalking it up to innocence, as I got it when I was just 23.

I just hope I know better now.

Berks EB with Jet

2010-12-17T22:10:00.002+08:00

My blog friends, the berks, finally got to meet again because Jet came home for her mommy's birthday. She stayed at Malayan Plaza for a night and those of us who could drop by went to meet her. She specifically requested to meet our kids. Food overflowed and laughter rang and conversation was rich.

All in all, it was a rewarding blast of a meetup.

And remember how Jet introduced the song "I HOPE YOU DANCE" to me? well, she's my son's godmother and check out this book she gave him :)

Deathly Hallows Finally

2010-12-16T00:18:00.002+08:00

On one hand, I really shouldn't read so much of the Pinoyexchange thread on this because the comments left by school-age people there can be misleading. Make no mistake, I loved the movie and cried at certain parts but I can also be objective enough and say that, to most people, it must have been a really dragging one.

My husband, a Potterfan, got bored.

I, however, didn't because I was busy comparing the comments I've read and what I was watching. And I think I was also very busy saying goodbye internally.

The highlight of the movie for me was the Polyjuice parts... the 7 Potters scene and when the trio went inside the Ministry of Magic. I think the actors they used (especially for Harry and Hermione) should be nominated for acting awards! They were so hilarious!!!

Oh, I also liked the Tale of the Three Brothers rendition.

And Bellatrix, I mean, Helena Bonham Carter, should really, really, really win an Oscar! She owned the part and was even more scary than Voldemort.

Sigh. I love British actors!

I missed a lot of conversations though... weird.

I Have Two Eyes...

2010-12-11T01:30:00.000+08:00

... only one face and a pair of lips. But this padala by an aunt and my sister brings my makeup total to:

3 eyeliners (black, bronze and blue)
32 shades of eyeshadow
3 lipsticks
3 lip gloss
a concealer set (4 shades)
1 tinted moisturizer
1 compact powder

Do I even include a concealer stick, liquid foundation and shimmery bronzer?

This is the most makeup I have ever owned and I am starting to feel ridiculous about it. I really should make up my face even when am just home, or at least wear that uber red shade of lipstick I can't use for public outings.

WTH Immigration and Belo

2010-12-10T02:28:00.003+08:00

My father, as well as so many other Filipinos, had a right to be annoyed and offended. Belo's face advertising her cosmetic surgery services on official travel forms? WTH!!!

If the government, particularly the airport, wanted to generate funds for the forms (or just effect a greater income), surely other businesses could have been accommodated instead? Like maybe, those in the hospitality and travel business? But the suggestion of cosmetic surgery welcoming people coming into our country is just pure tasteless.

Is It 'Coz am 33 Already?

2010-11-27T17:18:00.004+08:00

I thought before that the desire to shop for clothes and put on makeup was because of pregnancy hormones. Well, I have popped already and am still bent on shopping for new clothes and makeup.

In fact, my next project is to test drive a BB cream!

And I am hemming and hawing on what Infinitude color to buy next... actually, I really want more clothes but as I am hoping to lose more weight, the Infinitude is a better purchase because it stretches and will also shrink with me. But I really intend to keep on looking fab. It's already very encouraging when people tell me I don't look like i've just given birth yet. Plus, I have to maximize the perkier cleavage, right?

I need more accessories too. And maybe a new bag and shoes? :)

Oh, I just noticed that I really do need to moisturize faithfully now as my face has started showing signs of old age dryness (aside from the acne scars). After am thru with the binder, I also vow to faithfully put lotion on again.

Then again, I am also thinking of extending the wearing of the binder since I think it helps curb my appetite.

Is it 'coz am 33 already and I feel the pressure of old age looming? Or I just really had an epiphany of sorts lately?

Still, I did really miss being told I was sexy, and getting compliments on how I look.

Reunion with Grade 5 Classmates

2010-11-09T19:42:00.002+08:00

Haha. Weird right, why Grade 5 classmates?

A former classmate uploaded her class pictures on FB. None of us realized that we were somehow marked by being classmates in Grade 5 because of all the things that transpired then, the major thing being our adviser was the devil.

It seems kinda stupid now that none of our parents got her fired for all the things she subjected us to. We were hit by rulers, made to scrub floors until they sparkled, had to be monitor for the day and go around the class looking for dirt, wash her glass and plate, keep her area (a small nook with a folding bed for her behind our bookshelves) clean, etc.

We were all subjected to verbal abuse. One was even hit by a powder container because she was irked that the child she was verbally abusing had a dedma expression (unfortunately, she missed and hit another child).

And did I say she had me suspended for supposed fighting... I was fighting with a classmate but we weren't even having a shouting match or pulling each other's hair out. More like we argued in front of another teacher who sent us to her (adviser) so we can iron things out. Adviser had us instead stand outside the boys' classroom where she was teaching... and asked us to have our parents come the next day and declared us suspended. Three days and I didn't even say anything like SH!T.

And this teacher had the gall to convince my Mom that I needed summer lessons and then later on, tutorial from her... after also tutoring my classmates (and teaching them stuff she will include in quizzes) and getting annoyed that I'd still perfect her tests while her wards wouldn't.

I can go on and on and on.

Anyway, six of us met at Cafe La Carmela with another batchmate (who had our adviser in Grade 6, so she could relate) last Saturday. And boy, was it a laugh trip down memory lane. We caught up on each other's lives, on gossip involving our batchmates, etc.

We wondered aloud about one who has died already, if she did die of cancer or got involved in drugs so much that the police offed her. We tried remembering faces and attaching names and stories to those faces. We talked about the weird classmates that we had, the ones who changed so much, the ones who got pregnant so soon, the ones who ended up together and remained together or got separated.

Reconnecting with them was enlightening, humbling and amazing. It was great to see those who now have great careers, and how the ones we wouldn't have pegged to stay home as SAHMs like me. It was great to see the quiet ones now speaking up, the 'slow' ones now succesful, the rebellious ones now all mellowed down. It was great to see how we've evolved as mothers, how some have remained friends, etc.

Honestly, I last saw them all (except my neighbor) at our graduation in 1990. So I really hope to keep catching up with them and bridging the years. After all, I doubt we've exhausted our adviser reminiscences, haha.

What a 190-lb Woman Looks Like

2010-10-29T18:04:00.003+08:00

I stand 5 feet and 4.5 inches tall. And I weigh 190 pounds right now. That is seriously yikes when you think of the numbers alone.

But yeah, at least I am pregnant and can invoke 'baby weight' as an excuse. I'm just not bothered about being overweight right now because I already have a group of women intent on a group makeover who are sure to get me to a healthier weight after the birth. And keep me using makeup (especially moisturizers!).

Slow but sure, I intend to really be a healthier weight again. And really run in that Mommy Milkshake marathon next year (August). Already, I miss my mountaineering days and feel inspired to be getting sporty sweaty again. And I want to be strutting my cleavage all the time again, haha. Time, I feel, is sorta running out for that kind of thing so might as well be the vamp I was before again.

It makes me feel better about myself too, when am all dressed and gussed up. Haha.

My Cousin's Rants

2010-10-20T09:51:00.002+08:00

My cousin grew up here in the Philippines. It was only after college that he was able to join his parents in the US. He's now a registered nurse there.

He's always been ranting to me about how life there is very different from the life he's lived here. He still hasn't adjusted to the way people do things there, especially how they deal with each other.

And then there's the matter of education. He told me that the Math questions his younger brother (who is in middle school) has had to deal with at his age are far more complex than what he has had to deal with in his Pre Algebra days here. He has even wondered if he should get his brother in some online tutoring program like the one tutornext.com offers just so his brother won't get overwhelmed by Algebra equations.

Then there's also the matter of how kids there are just really different, with values not really family-centered and dreams that do not even include their parents. I just tell my cousin to focus instead on what he can celebrate by being there instead of ranting all the time about what's different or lacking.

The Blogger Wars

2010-10-17T12:20:00.005+08:00

Well, not really a war but conflict in some blogging circles. And it's not really something new. This has been going on and on and on for years now, it's just getting a little less hushed now with more players and all those social networking sh!t where people can broadcast opinions/rants and followers/friends can say "ditto!"

And well, as always, I am one of those bloggers who aren't in the middle of it. I don't write that well enough, have that much of a following, get that much traffic nor have that much clout. I am still stumped by SEO sh!t. And I'm sorry I keep saying sh!t today, haha.

Anyway, since pro-blogging is also getting more lucrative, what with so many bloggers earning from their blogs, and some even doing it full time, it's really just logical that bloggers will go different ways, and some will invariably be greedy. Or really resourceful. And some (the ones I silently hate), really hypocritical. Then again, we'd all always have different standards and most of us are always likely to excuse ourselves first.

There was a time when bloggers just wanted to document their thoughts and air their opinions. There are still some of these purists now, those who purposely even shun Adsense earnings... while some just didn't know they could generate income from their blogs. Or not, I mean, after all, not all blogs really have content or are engaging or whatever.

And then there are those bloggers earning from paid posts and links and whatever. I am one of them. Just recently, my Dad and my sister have expressed being touched by posts I made which I actually made because I had to post paid links. Like what I told my sister, I have posted more honest and loving sentiments about them... but then again, I have also really tried to preserve the integrity of my blogs. Which is why it frustrates me to no end why I am not getting more opps for my hthyou.com blog (considering it does have a decent traffic) so that I need not sully my personal blogs. Oh and make no mistake, I did get greedy.

I jumped on the paid blogging bandwagon after becoming a sahm because I felt guilty about not having income. Plus, if other bloggers who had poorer grammar and worse content than I will ever have are earning from their blogs, why shouldn't I? And I haven't regretted that decision because all the pooled income has really helped my family in several times of need. Like right now, more than half of my delivery fund is coming from my accummulated income from all my online gigs. It's a year of work at least but P100k just from writing and being online... that's a big help to my backbreaking hubby! Plus, it will allow me to give birth in a hospital I want, no matter how impractical it may seem.

But I digress.

And then there are those who earn mostly from ads because their blogs are high in SEO(which I still don't get). And I've been told that attending blogger events are one of the surest way to boost your SEO. Plus, attending blogger events really has its perks due to the freebies you get. It's supposed to be some sort of product launch or press con for something, but it is so easy to go not to be informed but because of the freebies. Human nature.

And that's where the conflicts now are arising. Getting invites to somewhere (haha, if I am not being referred by friends, I would not be invited to anything at all!). Gatecrashers. Bloggers not being objective (one of the first things to go is objectivity when you've been wined and dined and freebied and not just because bloggers as humans are easily corruptible, but because bloggers as humans will be kind to the hand that fed them). Clashes with other media people or clashes with the PR people themselves. Bloggers actually demanding freebies and compensation, or getting back at companies via bad reviews. Companies plying bloggers with freebies and demanding positive posts after. Companies being forced to really spoil aand pamper bloggers. No-shows because bloggers got more lucrative invites. I mean, the list goes on and on and on and these are issues that am sure also happen with other media/press people. And with bloggers being different folks that can tolerate different strokes, it's hard to even agree on a standard procedure of actually tapping, dealing and handling the blogging network.

For what it's worth, there are bloggers with clout that are active in blogger events who have maintained a sense of integrity and proper sense of decorum. But we all know, they are only a handful.

And there are those who are enjoying a windfall of products/events to blog about, who aren't corrupt also, but whose posts nonetheless suffer from being too busy.

The rest: bandwagonists, poseurs, hypocrites or just plain clueless. And I think I am all of those in varying degrees. So I guess that's also why I don't get SEO nor invited to events that much. God loves me enough to prevent me from going to the dark side for good.

And so, I can still live with who I am as a blogger, and I still love my blogs.

*~*

The bloggers I am connected with in Plurk and FB are calling for all other bloggers to exercise self-respect and to act with decency in events, and with their dealings with companies. This request is made so that 'bloggers' as a collective term will command some sort of respect.

Super Fun Last Night

2010-10-16T16:31:00.002+08:00

It was midnight sale at Rob Place Manila so we didn't notice the time. Before I know it, it was already 10:30 and we were all still gabbing! I was with my former FSL classmates last night and we were talking so much, we didn't even get pictures taken.

We ate dinner at Chef D' Angelo and had coffee (I mostly had water and donuts) at the newly-opened Krispy Kreme there. We talked about former classmates, bekimon, their FSL 3 exams and presentation (Don't Stop Believing in sign language), what we've realized about the Deaf, shopping and travels and even religious practices. I really, really, really had fun!!!

I really hope we'd be friends forever, haha, because I really love them. And missed them.

Prayers for My Cousin

2010-10-13T00:00:00.002+08:00

She didn't originally want anyone to know. But I guess, worry for her and a need for emotional support has driven her immediate family to start spreading the news. And now, the clan knows that my cousin is about to undergo a kidney transplant.

I am not sure yet if they have found a donor already and if a schedule has been set. All I know is that they were looking for her brother to donate (and he and his wife were willing) but that it seems my uncle opposed it because her brother has a family. Now it seems they have tapped an unmarried cousin of hers (mother's side) to donate his kidney. Hopefully, they are a match and that the cousin is really willing to help her out.

My cousin has suffered from nephrosis for some time now and I guess her smoking habit didn't help her condition. So it seems the meds aren't enough and she has been advised to get a transplant. At least, I hope that was the scenario as opposed to "get a transplant otherwise, you'll die asap."

So now, I have been warning everyone from our clan to watch their diet and get their kids eating right. I've even told a cousin-in-law to get her hubby (my cousin) to reduce the amount of cigarette he smokes for it seems our genes weren't that great after all. I had banked on the longevity of my paternal grandma's clan but it seems our kidneys aren't great. Two of my uncles had kidney probs (and one of them died from it) and now, my cousin.

Thank God though that all in all, the rest of my father's siblings (including him) has healthy eating habits and lifestyles.

Anyway, I am praying for my cousin because I love her, because she's still young (38) and because I know she still has a lot of good things to bring to this world as a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a friend and a lawyer.

Sizzling October

2010-10-12T23:47:00.002+08:00

And by sizzling, I don't mean in a good way.

And I know it's not just because I'm pregnant that I find the current weather uncomfortable. It's just really hot and humid. Two electric fans aren't even enough for me when I am downstairs. Makes me wish for a ceiling fan too. Or make that two ceiling fans!!!

Weather is really so weird now. My sister, on the other hand, had a shortlived summer. Usually, she'd be telling me about Hansen Wholesale Ceiling Fans and leaving me links like "Find out who makes the Best Ceiling Fans here!" to direct me to Casablanca and Minka Aire makers but she said it got cold and windy too soon in Michigan for her to even feel summer. Usually she'd be ranting about how hot it is there before autumn but that never happened this year. And in this glorious country of ours, it's like summer is back despite the rains and storms.

Ugh.

Rocking This Last Leg of Pregnancy

2010-10-08T20:56:00.002+08:00

I have actually started looking pregnancy tired. But this is me looking fab after a long while, and that was enough to put a smile to my face.

I really should buy more accessories though because I've been wearing the same necklace everytime I go out.

Going back to my former office to celebrate my son's birthday with them, ex-colleagues all kept telling me I'm huge. Well, I am. I must be more than 180 lbs. now. I can literally see my skin drying up from all the stretching it's doing. Weirdly enough though, I don't waddle much now.

Oh, had to buy new bras yesterday too 'coz my 40B chest just really needs bigger cups to feel comfy. But all in all, I am rocking this last leg of pregnancy, am I not?

Top One in Class

2010-10-08T12:16:00.002+08:00

My darling niece who landed herself a scholarship at De La Salle-Lipa (high school) is top one in her class. I was ecstatic when I found out because she's also in the cream section. For someone who must be getting all the answers to her Math questions by being resourceful at the library and studying hard, instead of tutors, I am really, really proud of her.

I just hope that when the time comes, I would be in a position to provide her with all the Chemistry help and Geometry help she'd need, either by helping pay for tutors or at least providing resources she can enjoy at home.

I'm sure she's also utilizing the internet a lot but it's really hard work getting her top grades. Sigh. I really hope she'd continue making the better choices so she can succeed and escape the struggles that her parents are dealing with, as a consequence of them not finishing their studies.

Good Luck to Sis

2010-10-07T03:58:00.002+08:00

My sister is scheduled to take her NCLEX either this October or on November. I really wish she'd make it this time so that she can finally be a registered nurse in the US. Even with the economy there still really in recession, I would simply love for her to be ordering scrub sets here and landing a job in a hospital already. I know she'd look cute in medical nursing scrubs, plus I know she'd really make for a greatly caring nurse.

I want her to start earning for herself and taking in the rewards of all those years of study, as well as taking on more responsibilities on her shoulders. It is time, after all, for our parents to get some reprieve from supporting her.

She is based in Michigan though and job pickings there are kinda slim so she might have to work for a while in nursing homes, like our cousin did, before she really gets a hospital job. No matter, so long as she strives to be the professional she was trained to be. Plus, she can still wear adorable scrub sets wherever she works and look fab while providing all those TLC.

Birthday Wish

2010-10-03T04:39:00.002+08:00

"Thou that has given so much to me,
Give one thing more–a grateful heart;
Not thankful when it pleaseth me,
As if thy blessings had spare days;
But such a heart, whose pulse may be
Thy praise."

– George Herbert

I used to get depressed before for a month before my birthday, feeling like those who care about me won't particularly exert extra effort to make me feel just how special I am for them on my birthday. I guess it all stems from that belief I have that I was born to this world for a reason, for a purpose, and I needed to be validated that somehow, I was accomplishing that purpose... that I was making a difference in somebody else's life.

How narcissistic, yes :) And irrational, yes.

Now, there's still that girl in me. But at least I find I can let go of the 'disappointments' easier now. I really have no other wish today than to have the car fixed at a cost we can still afford, other than that, am okay. I mean, 33 years today and my family is still complete, plus I am building my own.

Nothing can beat that kind of blessing.

(Oh, I just remembered Py... so I guess it's wrong to say my family's complete. Still, my parents are still alive and both my siblings. But okay, I felt sad about Py. But I trust he is where he is supposed to be right now, as I am, as we are.)

This is Me, the Birthday Girl

2010-10-01T14:29:00.002+08:00

Don't I look all kinds of fab and happy? :)

I am wearing the sake top from the bento box of Eden Maternity Wear collection. Yup, I am even specific now about clothes. And I have just bought another maternity con nursing wear today and a pink nursing bandeau (it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month so we all have to wear pink!).

Anyway, this is me, the birthday girl. Well, my birthday is not till Sunday but thanks to Facebook, I have been getting greets already.

I would like to thank God for all the blessings that are pouring my way. My current fave quote is "Blessings only come to those who notice." and though I sometimes fail to notice, I know I am blessed.

And even though I still want so many things in life, I have no doubt at all that I'd get what is due me, and I will get what I really want and need in my life.

Life continues to be a learning experience and a great adventure. And I know, many greater things are in store for me. I am keeping the faith. And well, I am praying and hoping I am right.

Flirting as a Woman

2010-09-30T10:59:00.000+08:00

As a married woman, my days of flirting aren't necessarily at an end, but less is riding on my ability to flirt successfully. Many of my girlfriends get really frustrated with flirting. After all, the burden of responsibility usually falls to men, but if no one is approaching you, it can seem difficult to change things. As a result, a lot of my friends just give up on flirting but here are a few things I've learned on the subject:

Make Yourself Easy to Talk To

If you want guys to approach you, make sure you seem approachable. If you're at a club or bar with other women, separate yourself from the group. This will make it easier for people to start conversations without feeling intimidated. It's also good to make sure that it looks like you want to be approached. Simple makeup and well-tended clothing will make sure that people know you're not just there to sit in a corner.

Smile and Make Eye Contact

When someone does start a conversation with you, there are little things you can do to encourage them. One of the first things to do is smile and look happy to be having the conversation. Eye contact is just as important, just as it is important to hold that eye contact for at least a couple of seconds in order to develop a sense of chemistry.

Contribute to Conversations

Whatever the conversation is about, speak your mind and give your opinions. Whether it's car insurance or sports, talk about what you know. If you're bored, though, don't keep talking about the subject! You're completely allowed to change the course of the conversation.

Just Make the First Move, Already!

If you still feel frustrated, just start the conversation yourself. Most guys will be flattered, you will feel empowered and you won't be stuck whining about how no one talked to you.

Convenient Cash When You Need It

2010-09-30T10:56:00.001+08:00

If you're in need of cash in a hurry, go online to apply for no fax payday loans. When used in a responsible manner, this financing option can help in emergency situations. Each state will have rules about how many payday loans you can open within a specific time period, and whether you can extend the due date. Make sure that you understand how it works in your state before you apply.

Simply go online and apply. The company will want to know who you are, where you live, where you work, and where you bank. Once you're approved, you'll be notified quickly so you won't have to spend hours wondering if this will work for your situation.

After you're approved, you can expect the funds to be deposited in your bank account within the next day or so. When it's time to repay the loan, the cash advance company will automatically deduct the amount from your bank account unless you contact them and ask for an extension. As long as the local law allows them to do so, they will usually give you plenty of time to get back on your feet.

People have used payday loans to solve all kinds of problems. Sometimes an unexpected car repair means they have to find money somewhere or they won't be able to go to work. In many cases, this could mean losing a job, and with the economy in its current state, a new job can be hard to find.

Medical bills are another emergency that can be solved with a cash advance. If you don't have medical coverage, some doctors will expect you to pay for services the same day. Even if they will allow you to pay later, the drug store won't just hand over the necessary prescriptions. A cash advance could mean treatment for a sick child.

33 Next Week

2010-09-27T00:42:00.002+08:00

I will be 33 next week. And apart from dreams of wealth that will enable my family to live a comfortable life and travel everywhere, and health for us to be able to enjoy each other, I really do not want anything else.

Aside from more new clothes and some accessories. How hormonally weird is that? :)

But it's good to be happy and content. And it's great to know I am blessed. When I think of all the turbulent years I had to go through to get to where I am, I really cannot help but smile. I lived, I learned, and now I am truly loved and loving.

How's that for growth?

Raring for HP: Deathly Hallows Part 1

2010-09-21T01:35:00.004+08:00

Threads on the latest Harry Potter movie are buzzing with excitement since Deathly Hallows Part 1 will be showing on November 18 already. Some are already reserving tickets to watch it in 3D at the IMAX theater at Mall of Asia.

Me... I'm still wondering if i'd watch it in 3D since the last time I did (and it was an HP movie as well), I got hospitalized the day after. Plus, I just got dizzy. I heard though that Resorts World already has cinemas and that one of the Newport cinemas offers 3D. Can you imagine watching your fave, fave movie in a place as plush as this?

newport Cinema 1-B

And wouldn't it be grand to watch the movie and then play slots after or try my hand at poker, just because am still feeling euphoric?

Incidentally, I'm not sure if Resorts Wolrd already offers online gambling now. I just receive notices for their events, like concerts and launches. Anyway, I need to check how much their tickets cost. I'd have just delivered a baby then and it may be wise to avoid the crowds in malls.

Pagbabago

2010-09-16T17:49:00.007+08:00

TEXT
pagbabago

nakakatawa kung iisipin mo
kung gano kalaki na
ang pinagbago mo
pero ikaw pa rin naman yan
ganon ka pa rin naman
pero marami nang nag-iba
pano ko ba to ie-eksplika?

dati rati
bibili ako ng damit
na pang-akit, panglandi
suot ko pag gigimik
siguradong pantawag pansin
syempre pa, dapat lang
mapansin ka ng kalalakihan

ngayon, medyo ganun pa din naman
pero sa dalawang lalaki na lang
ako nagpapakyut
pupustura pag may lakad
kasama ang mahal kong asawa
magda-daster naman
para masabihan ng anak ko ng "Prinsesa!"

dati rati
napupuyat ako
kakabasa ng libro,
kakababad sa telepono
kakatambay sa kanto

ngayon, puyat pa din naman
kakaantay sa asawang
ginagabi sa trabaho
kaka-alaga sa anak
pag ito'y may trangkaso
at kakatiis na lang
sa sanggol na dinadala ko
pag ako'y sinisipa nito

dati rati
paniwala ko'y mayaman ako
pano ba naman
akin lang ang kita ko
panay pa ang byahe ko
iba't ibang parte ng Pilipinas ata
ang narating ko

ngayon, hindi na ako nagtatrabaho
pero ramdam ko pa rin
na mayaman ako
ikaw na ang gisingin ng halik ng anak mo!
ang mag-ubos ng araw
kakakanta, kakalaro...
ang maging saksi
kung pano lumalaki
ang iyong unico hijo

dati rati
pag malungkot ako
bibilhan ako ng aking nobyo
ng mocha cake sa Goldilocks
kasi yun lang ang laging gusto ko

ngayon, sya pa din ang tagabili ko ng cake
asawa ko na nga lang sya
yun nga lang din, hindi ko na natitikman
yung mga bulaklak na gawa sa asukal
sa anak namin, ito ngayo'y nakalaan

o diba, nakakatawa
ako pa rin to
ganun pa rin ako
pero marami na din akong pinagbago!
sa totoo lang
mas may tono na
ang pagkanta ko...
mas matibay na din ang tuhod ko
talo pa nung umaakyat ako ng bundok
napraktis sa kakahele ng anak ko

kung dati rati
naturingan akong delisyus
dahil ako'y pa-sexy
ngayon, delisyus pa din naman
(masarap naman ang pata tim, diba?
biro lang!)
kasi masarap pala ako magmahal!
bukod sa sabi ng mga kaibigan
kita ko din naman
sa tamis ng ngiti ng asawa ko
pag sinasalubong ko ng yakap
at sa paghingi ng halik
pag nasasaktan ang aking anak

lahat tayo magbabago
tatanda, mawawalan
makakatagpo, maiiwan
kakaiba lang talaga
pag pag-ibig, binago ka na
at nagtataguyod na
ng sarili mong pamilya.

MUSIC
Instrumental version of "I Can See Clearly Now" by Jimmy Cliff

You know that adage, "the more things change, the more they stay the same?" Well, I think that sort of holds true for me.

I like to believe I am the same vibrant, passionate, crazy woman... but the things that make me feel alive, the things that matter to me, the things that drive me have changed.

I did not change because I married and had a child. Not really.

I changed because I started finding value in other things. The paradigm shift from feeling proud over getting promoted to not having a sick child did not happen overnight. It also did not happen smoothly. There were days when I raged over the lack of adult conversations, personal money and material rewards.

And yet, somehow, it also was really easy finding the good in the intangible rewards of nurturing relationships.

And so I have evolved and somehow reinvented myself... and certainly the happier for it. Just like Goldilocks has continued reinventing itself while staying true to its being Proudly Filipino.

And yeah, we're both still very, very DELISYUS!!! :p

When Those Who Hurt... Hurt

2010-09-15T03:22:00.002+08:00

I dare not expound but I am really troubled by something. I honestly do not know what to do or even whether I should do something about it or not. It is affecting me but am not sure if it's really MY problem... something that I should fix.

I have been praying for peace and healing for certain people in my life for soooo long... and I will admit part of me is angry because they've chosen to be victims of what happened in the past. But how can I pretend that old wounds cannot devastatingly hurt or break someone? And how do I become someone who offers hope for a better future?

Sigh.

Excited About Clothes

2010-09-07T17:33:00.002+08:00

People who know me can attest to just how weird it is that I am actually looking forward to new clothes, that I am anticipating, that I am even ordering stuff I haven't fit.

This is just soooo not me! So yes, I blame hormones.

But maybe it's also having been home for 3 years already with seldom a reason to dress up that I find myself in this frame of mind. So, despite them being slightly overpriced (well, they're all multi-way anyway and perfect for breastfeeding so I consider them all good investment), I couldn't wait to be depositing my payments.

And tomorrow, I start watching out for the courier again.

Want to Get Immediate Loan? Cash Advance Payday Loan is What You’re Looking For.

2010-09-07T00:59:00.000+08:00

Suppose you are in need of immediate money and you cannot ask your boss for advance payment. In such situation what can you do? There is a solution for this, you can get cash advance payday loan. You can get cash advance payday loan as fast as within one day.

The amount and interest rate:

if you need money very urgently then you can think about cash advance payday loan. This loan allows you to get money in your hand within a day. You can get loan of £ 100 to £ 1,200. You have to decide how much you need urgently and apply for a loan. The procedure is easy and you can get in different interest rates depending on your repayment duration. Usually you have to repay this loan within a month of approval.

The conditions for this loan:

• You should have a secured income source, you have to be involved in some kind of service.

• You should have a bank you and that account has to be active.

• You have to be over 18 years old.

• You have to use that bank account to deposit your salary directly.

How to apply for cash advance payday loan:

You can get your cash advance payday loan via the internet. There are online banks where you can apply for such loans sitting at your home. You just have to fill up an online application and give all the details. After you apply for the loan, the bank will review it and approve your application within 24 hours. You can get the loan even if you have very bad credit rating. After the bank approves your loan, you can transfer the money to your bank account.

Advantages of cash advance payday loan:

• No collateral is usually needed except your salary amount.

• Available every adult who is in service and bad credit rating cannot affect the availability of the loan.

• quick response and easy procedures

• No service charge for processing

• you can use the money any way you want to

Looking Forward to a Happier Christmas

2010-09-04T13:49:00.003+08:00

I think the last time I had both my parents for Chirstmas was 2005. Since they migrated, it's usually only my Dad who's here for the Holidays (he hates the winters in Michigan) but he prefers just staying in Lipa so if we want to have him for Christmas, we had to have our Noche Buena there.

But now, they're both coming home for the Holidays. Arriving at the end of November, they're sure to be laden with their Christmas presents to their grandchildren here already. Mom has even told me she's bought me soooo many wipes for my coming second child.

I am stoked!

Of course, it saddens me that my sister won't be here so we won't be really complete and she's sure to be crying and missing us that time... but like a child, Christmas really isn't the same without parents.

Dreams and My Reality

2010-09-03T13:47:00.002+08:00

Who here hasn't daydreamed of someday living in their dream home? My fantasies, when I was young, always included a big backyard, an expansive porch, a wrought-iron gate and an ornate address sign on the mailbox.

Then as I grew older, I settled for the usual picket fenced house, still with a yard but not so grand anymore, where we won't be so separated from our neighbors. The only grand things would be a vanity address plaque and maybe a swing set.

But now i'm part of a one-income family, I have resigned myself to just hoping we could afford a condo unit in a good area here in the city. It's just really impractical to subject my husband to long drives. Not only would we be missing him for dinners, he'd also lose bonding time, waste gas, be more tired. And since most of the play schools, shopping, etc. are still here in Manila, it would be more convenient for us to just stay here where it'd be easy to commute as I bring my son to classes. Most condo complex have pools anyway so at least, that's a good exchange for a backyard.

*~*

I heard Rupert Grint nicked the number 4 address sign for Privet Drive from the Harry Potter movie set. Hehe.

Students and their Heavy Loads

2010-08-26T23:33:00.005+08:00

Lately, i've just noticed how huge the bags of students are already. I am talking grade schoolers here and these are usually carried or pulled by their nannies, mothers and other caregivers.

I remember wanting to have a locker back in high school, mostly because lockers featured a lot in the courtship of characters from the romance novels I used to read. You know, either the characters will be bumping on each other there, fiddling with combination locks, etc. But since I generally went home for lunch everyday, I pretty much carried a light load all through my school life.

So I never got to enjoy one, not even in college. The only ones i've really used are in spas and the gym lockers at work, but they were never just MY locker.

My sister got to enjoy lockers in school though. And now, even preschoolers have lockers. And yet, they're still carting around those big bags so one cannot help but wonder just how heavy school things are nowadays. How many books do they use now, and do they really need those everyday? What do they leave in their lockers?

Thoughts on the Hostage-Taking Yesterday

2010-08-24T13:31:00.005+08:00

It was actually a shock to us last night that there was a hostage-taking crisis going on for most of the day and we didn't know it. We just tuned in to the news at past 7 PM, enough to get confused with the grainy TV reception (I dunno why our TV sucks that way), the rains, the haphazard media commentary and then witness the tragic end.

I tuned in to Plurk to get a better grasp of the situation. Overall, the police were being lambasted for not knowing what to do. And sure, I was annoyed and frustrated as well. But for the life of me, I also felt for the police. THEY REALLY DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I can get angry with that fact but was more saddened by it... there was the proof that the people who should be defending us were not equipped with the proper training and preparation, nor the equipment. So what hope really is there for them to save these people when they themselves obviously seemed concerned for their lives?

Most of who I saw didn't even have bulletproof vests (and this was going on for hours, enough time to send for them, surely, if there were any). They threw tear gas but didn't have gas masks. Laughable but actually really tragic.

And they were making do in front of international TV. We were watching the coverage at ABS and Failon incessantly reminded everyone that the crisis was being watched worldwide, thanks to them.

Can you imagine the pressure they must be in, and to be have been there for hours, and in the rain?

If you were the family member of one of those men, wouldn't you be scared for your dad or uncle too? And probably, more concerned about him than the hostages too.

I will not excuse the many mistakes they made (like not validating first if the hostages were really dead already, as reported by a traumatized bus driver). I will not excuse the incompetence they showed. But the police also seemed to have been left to their own devices, for no one else stepped in, no force that knew better. So, our only hope lay in them and because they weren't trained for it, I guess they can say they did the best they could and we can't blame them.

Even in those times that logic should have at least saved them, I can't blame them. I mean, i'm not exactly sure if we're hiring the brightest there is. And it is so easy to say that they should have done this and that, but had we been in their shoes, we might not have fared better, specially with a lack of training.

*~*

Usually, in times like these, you hear or read comments about how it's embarassing to be Filipino. I was pondering that last night. When I saw the link to a Letter of Apology from a Teenage Filipino, I was at first concerned if it would be so profuse in its apologies to the point of undermining our dignity as Filipinos. And when I saw that it wasn't, I shared it at Facebook with this post:

Indeed, yesterday was just a day in our history, like the EDSA Revolution was. Indeed, inasmuch as we failed those HK nationals, many of our countrymen have been serving their fellowmen, and the world, for years.

A friend immediately sennt me a private message to say:
mec i get you, but to say something like that at a time like this is precisely why no changes are made. don't you think we're too nice? as a nation we're so forgiving? and put yourself in the shoes of those who lost loved ones. to be anything but apologetic right now is just insensitive. you know imagine it were someone you loved and this happened and the killer's family tells you, he served your loved one for so long and not to be wary. i would think after an episode like that, it 's justified. it was handled terribly. to make excuses/to rationalize or explain it's just insensitive.

to which I replied:
I get you din sis. I was coming more from the perspective of how so many are ashamed to be Filipinos right now, because of what happened, and how I cannot, in good conscience feel the same, nor think the same.

Technically, I actually don't think we're too nice. I think we're too ambivalent. We are easily affected by such news but never really feel strongly enough to follow through with anything. And that is why, good changes do not happen.

And I maintain that I do not mean to excuse what happened, I do not hope to dismiss the mistakes we made and to ask that everything just be forgiven. It's just that, I also can't say i'm ashamed to be Filipino.

Of course I hope for good changes to come about, for the real issues to be dealt with. My family was just in Quirino Grandstand last Saturday, where I watched my son run after his soccer ball while my husband jogged. And I was thinking to myself then how it's so nice that Luneta feels safe from bad elements now, enough for families to be bringing their kids there for some air and sunshine. And then to have this happen, and to realize that it could easily have been one of us that couldn't be defended and protected right by our police...

*~*

And as always, media is sure to invoke their mantra that "they owe the world the truth," forgtetting that there could be bigger things at stake as they bring the truth to the world. In this case, I do believe a media blackout would have benefitted the crisis more, and would have done less damage to our country's, and police force's, morale. I am not even concerned about image, but I am concerned about morale.

People are encouraging everyone to share this link to guidelines for covering hostake-taking crises, uprisings and terrorist actions.

And ABS-CBN was as tasteless as could be last night... I will never see the point of showing the blood-ridden bus just hours after the tragedy transpired. Sure it's the truth but do everyday folk have anything to gain by seeing it?

*~*

Wouldn't it be ironic if the hostake taker was charged those corruption charges and dismissed as a scapegoat for other really corrupt police? That he was so devastated because he was so wronged? And that, without even intending to, he managed to bring the police force that wronged him down?

There is no excuse for what he did but still, wouldn't it be ironic indeed?

*~*

One other possibility is that he only really did fire warning shots after seeing his brother manhandled and that those civilians who died were killed by the police who reacted to the driver's report. Or that there was a crossfire as the hostage taker defended himself from the onslaught of the police.

If that's the case, would the police/SOCO admit to it?

*~*

True, another tragic thing is that those HK nationals brought much needed income for our country via tourism. They were just about to have lunch after a tour of Fort Santiago, I believe. And to experience what they went through...

I do not blame Hong Kong and China, or other countries for that matter, for putting us in their travel black lists. It is what any self-respecting government will do.

*~*

The tragedy doesn't end with the lives lost yesterday. There will be fewer tourists. There will be reprimanded or dismissed police. There's the whiplash on our government and economy. And just like what that teenager mentioned in his letter, there will be the angry foreigners our fellowmen are working for.

*~*

What happened yesterday is bigger than terrorism, or a disgruntled cop, or an unprepared police force, or bad media.

And as with huge things, we can only really hope to deal with one issue at a time and pray that the ripple effect it will produce will save us some work on the other issues.

(Maybe we can start by making it a policy to secure areas first? Too many usis endanger their lives and aggravate the situation lang!)

And just like when Ondoy hit us, each of us can do something, however small and indirect to help us get back up, instead of keep us down.

*~*

This is the official statement from the President.

WORLD... we are apologetic as a Nation. Let us suffer the consequences of our shortcomings but also allow us to build and rebuild. We made a mess and we have to clean it up. We made mistakes and hopefully, we will learn from our mistakes. And in time, I hope we can all move on.

*~*

Maybe it helped that our reception was grainy and I was confused by the coverage so I wasn't as emotional too. The most I felt passion for was how some were brought to Ospital ng Maynila when Manila Doctors seemed to me the obvious, nearest choice. Unlike that time soldiers were charging Manila Pen... I had thoughts and side comments on everything.

And yes, Venus Raj's happiness that shone through the Q&A at the Miss Universe pageant really helped. She didn't win top prize but she did make us proud... and what's more, made us realize, that today is another day.

Boyz II Men: Love Tour in Manila

2010-08-14T07:53:00.004+08:00

Yes, I watched Boyz II Men's Love Tour in Manila last night and enjoyed every minute of it.

But wait... first of, I'm still pregnant so this may be mushy.

But second of all, is there a person alive who doesn't like at least one Boyz II Men song? I think because they aren't really a boy band, even all their mushy songs appeal to guys.

I loved them growing up but wasn't fanatic about them so I didn't even know that their fourth member has left them (Michael McCarry, in 2003, due to health issues). And you will miss that 4th member in all of their old songs because not only have we all taken those songs to heart (what with Pinoys being mushy, I don't doubt we were all bombarded with them by the radio, on weddings, during break ups and courtships, etc), the songs were arranged with a 4th voice in mind.

But the Boyz II Men were great. It kinda sucks that it's only now I am watching musicians I listened to, but anyhoo, they were great! The concert was a fail since they didn't fill up Araneta Coliseum (it was only filled up close to 2/3 capacity, with most of the empty seats in the lower box) and it started at past 9 PM. But it was a success because Passage as an opening act was a great choice, and Boyz II Men really gave their all during the concert. My husband suspects they cut it short (after some 1.5 hours of showmanship) but it was still a great concert indeed. It is so very different hearing them live, and their choreography was both funny and cool (only they could have pulled it off without looking silly) and they engaged the crowd all the time.

I also didn't expect screaming from the crowd, but it was there. Even dancing :)

And all the songs they covered for their Love Album.... sigh! They absolutely rocked IRIS and BACK FOR GOOD. And since most of us didn't know what songs were included in the album, and they'd open the songs a little differently, the crowd will always end up being floored to realize which song it was that they're singing.

Loved, loved them!!! And I did get lots of senti with their songs because they took me back to my MTV days, to my growing up years. And I just had to cry when they sang Mama.

Boyz II Men is celebrating their 20th year this September. Decided to enjoy the concert instead of record on video. I think Boyz II Men's Love Album is a must buy if only for the group putting more harmony into already timeless classics.

*~*

I never also made the connection that Shawn Stockman, who sang my fave song Visions of a Sunset (which I think I'd want for my funeral), is part of the group.

*~*

One other thing. As Passage, and later on Boyz II Men, were singing all those heartbreak/goodbye songs, I grew teary because I realized yet again that I am past that period of my life where I was getting hurt, being unrealistic, making mistakes, etc.

I am past the drama of finding a love to call my own. I have it now. What a blessing to have grown up!

Sigh, Py

2010-08-03T06:29:00.002+08:00

We finally got to visit your grave last Saturday, despite the rains. And I couldn't help but cry when Ninong greeted you a Happy 7th birthday.

So much time has passed and I really wished I could stand there and tell you things are better for the family you left behind... and between your Dad and I. And then I thought he must have felt the same when he was there for your birthday.

We're so sorry darling. I guess some things may take more time... but I really hope you, wherever you are, will help your parents heal some more. Mostly for your brother's sake.

You'd Have Been Seven Years Old Today

2010-07-21T15:28:00.002+08:00

... and probably playing with my son with his toy cars and dinosaurs. Mind you, Yakee is often getting your toys that Ice is playing with. But I know you understand.

You'd have been in Grade 1 at least, and probably complaining about homeworks. I don't think you'd be bullied though 'coz you're very lovable and smart. I wonder where your parents would have enrolled you.

If you had been living here still, chances are, you'd always be in the street playing, chums with all the other boys outside. And Andy, of course. You'd still be her best friend.

I wonder if you'd still be stick thin and a finicky eater. I wonder if you'd still love mocha cake and insist on sharing with me. I wonder if you'd be a doting Kuya to Ice...

But well, I know you'd be loved. And you still are. Tita was crazy, expecting you to manifest this early morning because she couldn't sleep.

Now Py, help me pray for your Mom, Dad and brother. I know you are at peace and happy where you are... but your parents still haven't healed sufficiently. Ice needs your help so please watch over him from where you are. Let him grow up feeling as loved as you were, as special as you were... and more healthy than you were.

Eclipse

2010-07-07T11:59:00.003+08:00

I thought it was the last movie already and was hoping for an imprinting scene. I never read any of the books, I just read the Wiki on them and was interested by the werewolves and Volturi.

Oh of course, Jacob Black is yummy :) And I thought Dakota Fanning had more scenes as Jane.

But anyway, we watched the lasst full show at Rob last night. And it's really hilarious that my hormones threatened to get me crying at several inappropriate times during the movie. Like when Jacob was asking Bella to choose him, and when Edward reminded Bella to visit her Mom before graduation (I thought they were already going to turn her), and when the shirt quilt was given (because despite a lack of use for quilts, I think it's such a sweet gift and I know some use their kids' clothes to make one), and that scene with Rosalie (which was a really good scene) and when I saw younger werewolves and when they all decided to risk their lives for Bella (a really insipid, colorless character, if you ask me).

I think I started crying when Bella was telling Jacob that they could be killed and I got worried over Seth Clearwater, wondering if he'd die. I started laughing that I was shedding tears, it was really crazy.

I mean, I cry at movies. I even have a weird thing about choosing just one scene and empathizing so much, i'd be crying over just that one scene. Why else would I cry watching Exorcist because I felt so sorry for the helpless Mom? But I know, had I been normal, I wouldn't have cried over any scene at Eclipse. I even kept squeezing hubby's hand whenever the werewolves come because I was really so worried about them. Haha.

Oh and that awful scene with Bree and having the Volturi get rid of her. Awww.

Oh and yeah, loved the valedictory address :) And the back stories on Jasper, Rosalie and the Qilute tribe.

Rolled my eyes at a lot of winded dialogues but as with New Moon's "what, am I not the right monster for you?," Eclipse's "we both know I am hotter than you" was delivered well by the terribly obsessed Jacob. And I think I liked this movie better... but I am pregnant.

Still won't read the novels though.

Reviving Academec?

2010-07-06T11:12:00.002+08:00

I am thinking of reviving my Academec blog. I let go of its .info domain about a year ago since I stopped attending UPOU classes anyway... but now I'm thinking of reinventing it as my homeschooling blog and posting there all other helpful bits on education.

But then, I can't commit yet to more blogging since I am currently sick, have articles and photoslides pending and haven't even started with my son's more structured regimen on learning (more about hand dexterity, developing gross and fine motor skills, grooming, etc really than academics).

Anyway, since I still haven't made up my mind about that one... let me just share here how aghast I was to learn that parents sending their kids to public schools have to contribite yearly for trash cans, electric fans, etc. That's yearly! And yes, it's not that they'd shell out much because all parents would be contributing but still, that is a sad fate indeed for them. Sending kids to public schools already meant they can't afford much so all additional expenses are sure to be a burden.

And then there are the private schools with their own schemes (particular brand supplies you can only buy from them).

In a way, I am really happy to not have to deal with them soon because of my homeschooling dreams. Oh God, I really hope I succeed.

Reunion with Lola

2010-06-29T13:18:00.002+08:00

I think I am still blessed to have a grandparent living. And the fact that my paternal grandma could tolerate the heat here without employing the use of an electric fan is just amazing... she was even washing clothes and putting them up to dry last Sunday! And she is at least 85 years old, I think.

Anyway, we decided to hold a despedida for them last Sunday, and simultaneously celebrate the birthdays of our nieces and a nephew.

this was taken when they've just arrived, around a month ago

last weekend, the kids enjoying an inflatable pool

liempo

bulalo

puto

sinangag na baka (only in Batangas)

inihaw na tawilis

yummy mangoes

my son playing in the rain

We used to be the little ones gathered in that porch. Lola's house was built the year my brother was born (1979). Now, we're watching our kids play in the yard instead and are the ones doing the cooking and child minding.

The circle of life continues.

Birthday Wish for My Brother

2010-06-25T11:02:00.002+08:00

My brother turns 31 today. He doesn't smoke and doesn't drink that often and even seldom gets sick. So I know he at least is healthy.

Anyway, I wish him peace in his heart and mind. I think he's still a slave to his childhood demons which is impeding his growth as a man. I really hope he'd finally be a responsible son, husband and father. It's about time. And I hope he will finally learn to be thankful for what is freely given him, and not constantly seek things he doesn't have, and maybe not exactly deserve at the moment.

And that he finally start working for things he wants, instead of expecting them to be handed to him on a golden plate. So that he can have self-respect. So that his son can someday look up to him and say, "I want to be like my father."

The Advantages of Bermuda Grass

2010-06-25T10:08:00.000+08:00

Owning a home is a about a lot more than just paying a mortgage. It's about becoming a part of the community and making your house an accurate representation of who you are and the best way to do that is make it look good. And that starts with the front lawn. The front lawn is the first thing people see and it is the first thing people are greeted to as they arrive at your place. If the quality of your front lawn matters to you then you might want to consider bermuda grass.

If you don't think you've seen Bermuda before, think again. You see it everywhere. It is a favorite grass of sports fields and golf courses. The reason for this is it is known to withstand heavy traffic and certainly having sports played upon it would make it necessary to have a tough and resistant grass in place.

This makes for a great lawn grass as in a neighborhood filled with kids there is a high risk of your front lawn getting trampled and it is necessary to have a grass to withstand that. Another reason it makes such a good grass for your lawn is because it holds up well even in less than ideal weather conditions. You know that most grasses do well in warm and temperate weather but many don't live in ideal weather.

Not only does Bermuda do well in colder temperatures but it is also draught resistant. This helps two fold. It helps if an area goes a significant amount of time without any rainfall but it also works if you, as a lawn owner simply do not have the time to water your grass as much as you'd like.

There are a lot of lawn choices out there but Bermuda just makes the most sense.

Bad Dream

2010-06-22T13:19:00.002+08:00

I had a dream that I was dumped naked along Quirino Avenue. For some weird reason, I had an empty shampoo bottle which I was using to cover my privates as tears flowed and I was walking around, in shock.

I was thinking, I was so close to home and yet so far. I didn't know how to go home. But in the dream I somehow rode a jeep and there were nursing students in the jeep with me. One of them somehow had an extra uniform and dressed me up. I was just shocked.

I came to when we got off at my street and I started crying again while thanking her. She even gave me money.

In the dream, I was crying more not because I was seemingly a victim of some crime, but because people were just staring and laughing at me while I was naked in public. Nobody was helping. And it was more traumatic because I realized that had I seen a naked woman in the street, I also would have just stared and not helped. I wouldn't have approached them and asked if they needed anything. I wouldn't have brought them somewhere where they could have gotten help.

FB Doesn't Disappoint

2010-06-17T03:22:00.000+08:00

I just loved finding my old friends from a computer shop I used to go to back in those days when owning your own PC was only for the rich... and gamers had to actually miss school and home and invest all their allowance in computer shops. A couple of them ended up married to each other... one of my closer friends is a single Dad. My closest friend of them all, I still have yet to get acceptance for my friend request.

But I am uber thrilled and beyond happy, really. It's weird to be talking about marriages and kids with someone I only talked about guys (dating) with before. And oh, how I long to see them again.

In a way, they were the first friends I made from the net. And we used to hang out all the time, especially during weekends. I missed them and love them and really hope to see them again soon.

Thank you FB. Really!

UP Does Not Acccept Homeschoolers?

2010-06-16T23:38:00.003+08:00

For the record, I still haven't started homeschooling my son. I am giving myself extra time to just enjoy him as is, without the structure of a curriculum and the pressure of expectations.

I was bothered though when I found out that UP was not accepting homeschooled kids. I'm still not sure if they're not accepting homeschoolers in all levels or just in college. See, I only wanted to homeschool till grade school, hoping to get my kids enrolled in a Science school for high school. But I was kinda open to maybe homeschooling them longer, if they're really happier that way and I got so great at it that I could manage it. I could just have them to enrol in some online tutorial for Algebra 1 and Algebra 2. Plus, everyone needs all the Algebra 2 help they can get.

Then again, I think a lot really depend on the kind of teachers you have for such subjects. I mean, I generally hate numbers but aced Chemistry and Algebra because I loved the teachers teaching those subjects.

Still, I beg the question... does UP discriminate for all levels? And I am really, really surprised because I thought UP was all for non-formal, non-traditional forms of education, having a thriving Open University to boot.

My Old Smart Phone

2010-06-15T13:27:00.002+08:00

I bought this Nokia model, or was it gifted to me, in 2005... several months before I got married.

I still have it and the same number. Yes, I have been blessed with not losing it or having it (or my bag) snatched. That is an achievement worthy of its own laurels cosidering how many people usually change phones every two or so years because their phone was lost or stolen.

It seldom has load though. It's a Smart prepaid line and I'd usually load it after every 2 months or so for almost 4 years now. Ever since I got a Sun postpaid line, I used that more to text friends and family. Plus, I have slowly weaned myself away from texting so much. When my hubby is home, I can even go without texting all day.

And yes, despite the postpaid line, I still prefer texting than calling.

Anyway, I have kept my Smart phone more for sentimental reasons. I really should start writing down the messages there that I hold dear, like the ones that cheered me up when Py was sick, all the birthday greetings, all the wedding wishes, even some of the 'fights' I've had with my significant others.

It's really amazing and scary how one small gadget can hold years of memories. Which is why I have always been mindful of my phones. Always, they contain so much more than text messages and pictures.

How to Plan for an Above Ground Pool

2010-06-15T01:46:00.001+08:00

If you want a swimming pool but you don't want the expense, size, or permanency of an in-ground pool, an above ground pool could be just the thing for your family. For a smaller investment you can get a pool that will last many years, providing hours of fun for family and friends.

Above ground pools are not flimsy little wading pools. They are built of sturdy materials, designed to withstand active children and teens. They can be very simple or very attractive in design. When making your purchase there are several things to consider.

How big a pool do you need? A fairly small round pool may be satisfactory if you have a small family and don't plan to entertain. If you want to have pool parties, plan on a big pool. If you want to swim laps, a long oval pool is a better choice than a round one.

Study and measure the location you intend to put the pool. You don't want to buy a pool that doesn't fit in the spot you planned for it. Are there trees nearby that should be taken out before they grow too big and hang over your pool? To avoid tracking in grass and dirt, plan for extra space for a deck around the pool.

In some areas it is required by law to have a fence around a pool, and it is a good safety measure. You may also want to consider a portable ladder that you can put away to keep small children from climbing over the sides.

Know what comes with your kit. Some are complete; others require accessories or chemicals. Know what you are getting and plan ahead for additional supplies if needed. Make sure you know the length and scope of the warranty. Get the best pool you can afford and look forward to hours of swimming fun!

Growing Up

2010-06-13T00:19:00.002+08:00

My nieces and nephews are... and fast!

Before, I used to really stress over gifts for them. I'd buy them pajama sets and toys and books. Now, they're all at an age where they're not so easy to please anymore and would probably prefer cash from hereon.

I was ever present in their baptisms and birthdays. I'd carry them when am in Lipa and fuss over them. But now, they carry my son instead and play with him and even sort of babysit him for me.

Here, they basically ran my waterproof camera empty of battery as we went for a night swimming at El Madero Farm & Resort last week.

Of course, most of the shots they took I had to delete because they were blurred beyond repair. Plus, they had a field day over one of my nephew's behind, hehe.

My cousin-in-law said that several years from now, these kids will be huddled together talking about crushes instead of favorite TV shows. I said that in several years, they'd be probably conniving with eah other, getting their stories straight, as they lie about their whereabouts.

Time flies so fast. The babies I held in my hands before are now all grown, including my firstborn.

Is It Physiological?

2010-06-09T16:56:00.002+08:00

I was reading this article about a blonde woman saving girls from a life of prostitution somewhere in Romania. I was aghast at the grim reality of how some girls would be kidnapped and locked up in a room, where they will end up servicing truck drivers.

Then of course it reminded me of the movie Taken (Liam Neeson) which also greatly bothered me. Everywhere, women are being preyed upon in the sex trade business. And everywhere, men are paying top money to get pleasured or to inflict themselves upon drugged girls, virgin girls, actual girls.

Sometimes, I have thought that women who make sex workers of themselves (as high class escorts) are empowered. But then such articles remind me that there is no actual empowerment when others end up enslaved by the same principle. Sure, it's rather nice to have the influential power of a courtesan, but only how many of those who get paid for sex actually enjoy the sexual act? How many are actually enriched by it? And they can't ever say that they're not doing anything wrong if they're hurting relationships and other women, or perpetrating the trade that enslaves so many girls all over the world.

One of the pains I can never imagine really is that of being abused sexually. How much more to have to sleep with strangers who do awful things to you, who smell and talk awful, and not even have anything to show for it after since the pay goes to your handlers.

What's even atrocious is that these men, because they paid for you (and some syndicates don't exactly require high fees), treat you with a sense of entitlement for that hour or two, expecting you to be as dirty as you can be, as low as you can be, as servile as you can be... for them.

I feel like I want to barf just thinking about this. But my mind goes back to my title... my question. Is it physiological... this capacity of men to separate themselves from anything that is with compassion and dignity, and sleep with obviously captive girls? Girls. Girls who are as old as their sister or daughter. Girls. Girls who can just as easily be their sister, their daughter.

You're a truck driver doing long hauls. Maybe you are underpaid. Maybe you are tired. But how can you sleep with a girl who probably has serviced your comrades before you and will service other guys you know after you? How?

How can you pay to have sex with a comatose patient? How can you stomach doing a girl that is on the verge of a drug overdose? How can you stomach doing it with a child?

The sex trade will continue fluorishing because the demand has always been there. White slavery will always be a social ill because men everywhere are able to compartmentalize so well, they fail to see the human being in who they pay for.

And these men... these men are our fathers, brothers, husbands. Well yeah, I don't think my father, brother and husband actually belong to the same breed... but they are somebody's father, brother and husband.

Yuck.

*~*

The shameful thing about all this is, I don't think I can ever be the kind of person helping such women. I'd be too devastated and traumatized by their plight, their stories. And that's really, really sad... that not many are brave enough to really rescue these little girls.

The Golden Girls

2010-06-04T00:50:00.003+08:00

Who here watched The Golden Girls as a child?

I did. I was a fan of American sitcoms and I actually really found the show funny. Anyway, my fave of them, Rue McClanahan has died. That just leaves Betty White alive of the four who gave me one of my first glimpses of the golden years, and the importance of sisterhood.

Alas... I have a lot of friends I call sisters but I don't have a sisterhood yet. But maybe I need never look far because my sister and sisters-in-law will actually be providing me with the love and friendship I'd need as time starts stealing away everything I hold dear: from youth to health to loved ones.

Loved you Rue. Rest in peace.

A Girl Can Fall In Love

2010-05-25T11:52:00.002+08:00

While battling with hunger yesterday, I got to thinking about how easy it is to fall in love.

And I've met so many men who I could have fallen in love with, or did fall in love with for a brief moment. Sometimes, it's just the tilt of the head. A smile. Something he said. Sometimes, it's a glorious conversation, a grand night of dancing, a great day of laughs. Sometimes, it can even be for stupid reasons like he's not your usual type, or you know you're not his type, or you just wondered how things would be if two creeps got together. I meant freaks. Or weirdos. :)

Because the point is, there are many men with good enough qualities out there. So, a girl can fall in love easily. A boy too. And some do choose to do so while others aspire for more elusive partners, ideals, prizes.

Thankfully, I wasn't a hopeless romantic but a hopeful one.

WSOP Player Spotlight: Peter Eastgate

2010-05-25T08:03:00.001+08:00

While Phil Hellmuth's record of being the youngest WSOP Main Event winner stood firm for nearly 20 years before it was broken by Peter Eastgate, Eastgate's record was replaced just one year later. Nonetheless, this impressive young player from Denmark has shown some amazing skill. He has some immense accomplishments under his belt already, and is continuing to show a commitment to the game.

Like many other poker players, Eastgate was introduced to the game at a young age. It happened while he was in Denmark, attending the equivalent of high school at the Canute's Gymnasium. He continued to follow in the footsteps of other great players by dropping out of college to pursue the path of the professional poker player.

Eastgate began making noteworthy tournament placings in 2007, when he made a final table finish at the Irish Poker Open. The European Poker Tour and PokerStars Caribbean Adventures all landed him respectable amounts of money. However, it wasn't until his presence in the 2008 WSOP that people started to turn and look. He won his way into the WSOP through satellite at an online poker site.

He played through the tournament effectively, landing in the number four spot for chip count at the final table. He survived down to the heads up and then beat Demidov, another young player new to the WSOP brackets, for a massive prize pool. His victory in this final head to head wasn't surprising. He went into this last stage of the tournament with significantly more chips than his opponent, and by the time the final move was made, he had bled Demidov down to about 10 percent of his own chip stack size.

Quickly rising through the ranks, Eastgate has already passed the $10 million mark for tournament winnings, and doesn't show signs of stopping any time soon.

Is it Time to Shift to Wordpress?

2010-05-20T10:34:00.002+08:00

One of the ideas I greatly toyed with while I was lounging in the hammock in Marinduque is whether or not I should push to shift to Wordpress and finally pay for web hosting.

Fellow bloggers earning from their blogs attest to how much easier it is to actually earn, from paid links to Google Ads, when your blog is a hosted Wordpress blog because it is easier to manage content with Plugins. Plus, payu2blog.com is not accepting blogger-hosted blogs anymore so any new blog you're going to enrol in their paid links service will have to be a hosted Wordpress blog.

So my assignment now is to finally make that leap. I can start by reading up on website hosting more and learn the costs and work that will be required of me. Migrating old posts may also be an issue so I need to prepare for that. But it's really time I take blogging to another level. Other bloggers have carved out their own niches and generated followers while all my blogs have languished with nary a reader.

Time for change for better blogging rewards, I say.

Mother Wishes

2010-05-10T07:57:00.002+08:00

This is a belated wish to all mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day. I really hoped they were able to rediscover all the joys and reasons and motivations that kept them going, improving, evolving and giving as mothers.

And then here is a wish that the people going to election precincts today will keep their cool in the summer heat, their patience in the chaos, and their presence of mind and dignity when casting their ballots. I hope the Filipinos will not disappoint their Motherland today.

9 Days to Go Before Elections

2010-05-01T09:35:00.003+08:00

Shamefully, yes, I am not a registered voter.

I did not take the trouble of re-registering under my married name. Plus, since I have missed two elections already, I doubt I am still in the voting list. Then again, sometimes, the dead still are, so what do I know.

Anyway, I did ask my cousin if she could ask if I am still on the list when she goes to the election precinct on May 10. Because if I still am, then I will go vote.

Truth be told, I am not in love with any of the candidates. But for the top position, I would probably choose among Gibo (who at least hasn't resorted to any mudslinging and has consistently shown he knows his politics), Gordon (because of his achievements) and Eddie Villanueva (because I believe him to be the least corrupt and the least corruptible).

For VP, it may be Binay for the work he's done in Makati, although I despise the "I am only human and make mistakes" bit he said about having had an affair. But the affair, it feels, has really been over and done with. Compare him with Erap and am sure Binay is still considered a saint. Or maybe Fernando, because of the work he's done as MMDA Chairman and in Marikina.

I just want someone who have really done something already.

But I fear that Villar will really be declared President. And already, I have visions of the Philippines becoming a flat land of real estate properties. Gone will be the agricultural lands that feed the many, and in place, will be properties that will make only a few richer. Immensely richer. And Ondoy will become a natural occurence as Philippines is flattened out.

And Noynoy will just be another Cory. If he gets elected, he will never have balls of steel. He will always be dependent on advisers (in this case, mostly his sisters) and nobody will ever be confident in him and his government.

I like Pia Cayetano but since he's in Villar's camp, I am not so sure. Then again, they usually just really work on their own anyhow. It's not like there's a party loyalty here.

For Manila mayorship, it would be Lim, just so he wouldn't remove the lights he has already installed along Quirino and UN Avenue. That's a waste of money, in terms of projects go, but replacing it with just another brainless project will just be a bigger waste of money. So I'd rather it stays. Plus, I think the Atienzas are bigger schmucks.

For pary list, I will choose from among the women empowerment groups. I am still hoping they will bridge the gap a little more in terms of bringing equity about between men and women, in all aspects of society.

What about you, who will you vote for?

Renewing my PRC Licence: To be Postponed

2010-04-27T07:08:00.002+08:00

I was going with friends supposedly this week to PRC and have my teaching license renewed.

Yes, I am a licensed teacher, technically.

I never renewed the license though, and never really had to use it because I mostly worked for the government and only taught one semester (two college subjects). So I really cringe at the thought of how much my penalties would be, for not renewing it every five years.

I graduated 1998 and passed the LET that same year.

Plus, I will pay some more for a change of name.

I really need another ID though. Some banks don't think my postal ID is enough to open bank accounts with. I only have that and my passport to identify me officially.

But like what I said, I would have to postpone this endeavor because the weekend took its toll on me and I need to be lying down again most of the time.

Such moments make me think of the phrase "life shelved" which is ironic because "life grows" inside of me. :) Ah, such is the fate of all women who choose to multiply.

A Realization and a New Dream

2010-04-25T07:53:00.002+08:00

I just realized that just when I am planning to become more actively involved and volunteer for a support group for childhood cancer, I get pregnant. Honest!

First, there was that time after Py just died. Mr. Perez of Project Brave Kids just found my blog, and his son Seve was also still undergoing chemo treatments then and he wanted for us to touch base. But Py has already died nga. I looked up their site and thought to myself, i'd just go help cheer the other sick kids at PCMC up.

But I found myself pregnant and that idea was shelved. Not only was it a difficult pregnancy, I also didn't want to be going to hospitals and expose myself to opportunistic viruses.

And then last March, I was assigned to write about two cancer foundations. I was surprised that Cancer Warriors Foundation is actually just in Paco. And they have been around for ten years already. We could have really used the emotional support then. They hold weekly support meetings somewhere in Ermita/Malate and I was like: This is it, another chance to reach out to children with cancer and their families. I can't give them money I don't have, but I can give them my time.

Then I found out I'm pregnant again. I'd still love to volunteer as story teller/teacher but I can't now. I am still scared of the possible viruses, given that sick children seem to be a magnet for them.

I wonder what Life is trying to tell me... I am pretty sure it's not that I shouldn't help them. Could it be though that Life is reminding me about how the circle of life continues? That though I have lost a precious nephew to cancer, I am being blessed with healthy kids now?

Or does Life mean that I am not ready yet?

Truth be told, I doubt I will ever have the stomach for barfs and the smell of disease. But maybe emotionally, I am not really at that level where I can really give just yet?

Sigh.

*~*

I was at a storytelling workshop yesterday and realized that I want to be a good one. I don't want to make a business out of it, but I really want to be reading and telling stories to kids... like the underprivileged ones in sad areas, and sick children, and maybe kids in rural areas.

Well, it was partly why I took up FSL classes. But now, I really, really, really see myself as Lola Basyang. I want to have nieces and nephews clamoring to hear me tell a story.

So maybe, I should really have become a preschool teacher? Hahaha.

Well, I will be a homeschooling Mom anyway.

Hey You...

2010-04-10T17:25:00.002+08:00

... the person. How are you?

I just thought you might be getting overwhelmed by your pregnancy and all its implications that you might be forgetting who you are again, the person. Then again, you've really involved yourself so much in mothering, I don't think people can separate you from the Mom in you anymore.

And I guess that's okay too.

But really, how are you?

Well, for what it's worth... I sometimes catch myself resentful of the hormones, eventhough I would probably go mental if they stop wreaking havoc in my body. I know I should be thankful that even though I feel sick, I am not really sick as opposed to being sick.

And yeah, I guess there is that sadness over the many things i'd set aside again, all in the glory of motherhood and family. It's not just the earning and socializing opportunities, but the journey to another aspect of ME just really has to be shelved for now.

Definitely no trips abroad in the next two years... unless we're migrating, which is very unlikely.

And maybe no nice things again (not that I don't have a lot of good things).

But maybe this is the opportunity to be more that I was waiting for.

I am thankful, definitely. My parents are still alive and fairly healthy, and I have a great relationship with my sister, and a working one with my brother. My marriage is ok to great (depending on my moods), my child is healthy and happy, my purchasing power is available, even if limited.

I am worried about the coming elections. I don't want half the population migrating from hopelessness with the leadership situation and I certainly don't want more crime resulting from poverty.

And I am somehow convinced that Ondoy will happen again. It's the ants eating my cheese floss in the ref that tells me there is dire need there.

Oh... I miss reading. I have two Readers Digests I haven't read yet. That's crazily unacceptable for me!

I Was Wrong

2010-03-31T00:46:00.004+08:00

Oh so wrong!

And oh, the sweetness for once of being wrong. The mixed emotions of how being wrong is just so right. The irrepresible desire to shout for joy, the reality of sadnesses and goodbyes, the overwhelming changes that are to come, and how essentially things will remain the same. I am scared. Unprepared. But most of all, I am blessed. Again.

Here's to a greater adventure ahead, and more evolution and reinvention for me.

Ruined Monday

2010-03-30T00:31:00.002+08:00

Truth be told, I am officially 16 days delayed.

And then I got all woozy and down and weak and headachy Sunday night. I woke up 3 AM Monday morning with a migraine. I had to barf and generally just lie down and sleep the rest of the day. I had to back out of a prospective interview with an employer (for a part-time, at-home gig) and a dinner with CWL friends. And hubs had to stay home from work.

But despite being delayed, I am still positive that I am feeling this bad because of PMS and not because I am pregnant. Always, delays or irregularities in my period gets my temper rising, and my body breaking down. To think I never had to suffer from cramps or whatever growing up. But now this. This!!!

Men will never know how women can be at the mercy of their hormones. I know being overweight doesn't help. And an irregular sleep cycle also doesn't help. But I am only 32 and not even stressed by work, so these hormone surges and dips are really traumatic. My productivity as a person is being affected. I am even having weird dreams! Grrr.

This is pure rant, I know. It really sucks, how I feel.

Lost Again

2010-03-25T00:40:00.003+08:00

My Comfort Zone
By Author Unknown

I used to have a comfort zone
where I knew I wouldn't fail.
The same four walls and busywork
were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much.
I said I didn't care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you're in a comfort zone,
afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.

Reach for your future with a smile;
success is there for you!

Before I thought it was the change from working to not, and then getting deluged with the many challenges of parenting and finding value in that.

I started another masteral degree when I wasn't ready so I dropped it. Turned out, I just wasn't passionate about it.

Because when I am passionate about something, I do bend backwards for it.

I found FSL. And I renewed my involvement in other worthwhile causes, in other things I really feel strongly about.

Now, I am contributing to sites, writing about topics that interest me. I even sometimes write for magazines as well.

And I have been attending more blogger events.

And yet I still feel caged. Lost. Useless.

I still feel like am only going through the motions... that something else should be happening and I am in this alternate reality where I don't belong.

I feel something bigger is out there calling me, needing me, right for me... but I don't know how to get to it because I can't really say what it is.

I hate feeling that I am just existing. That i'm still not feeling productive despite all these things I am doing.

I am really lost again. I need a higher purpose. I am neither really happy nor content about myself. I feel I should be doing something more... something else.

*~*

Okay, maybe this is PMS talking.

People with HIV

2010-03-21T23:30:00.004+08:00

Last February, I attended an HIV/AIDS forum at Starbucks with two gay friends, one of whom was HIV-positive. Basically, we just giggled the time away talking about sex, other gays, gay practices, crushes (theirs) and the possibility that other people we know may be gay.

But when I got back home, it hit me. I could easily have been one of those who got HIV from just one night of passion, or carelessness. I was lucky, I was involved in an NGO teaching about reproductive health for many years. So I was always careful. Plus, I was mostly in a relationship all my life. I never really did the singles scene. And casual sex, f*ck buddy systems, organized orgies, swinging, etc.... all those didn't really take off till I was already in my 20s. Who knows how things could have been different if I had access to casual sex already at age 15, like kids now? Who knows how things could have been different if internet (and with it, chat rooms, social networking sites, cam to cam eks) was already booming when I was just a rebellious teen with raging hormones?

I might not have chosen wisely.

And all it takes for HIV to spread sexually is one moment of trust and carelessness. Wives and girlfriends certainly trust their partners to be clean. Men generally assume that a lovely girl is clean, or they get too confident of their immunity. Having HIV happens only to sex workers and gays is the popular opinion after all?

But what happens when there are actually a lot of men, with gfs and wives, who actually dabble in same-sex trysts?

And what happens when more and more marriages are long distance relationships, with either the wife or husband taking on a f*ck buddy to fulfill sexual needs?

What happens when it's common for guys to pay girls for sex? Sex workers don't just work in clubs anymore, they're even studying really serious subjects in UP. A lot are in college, a lot have good lives and are well-provided for. But somewhere along the way, these girls have confused women empowerment with a lack of dignity. Some cases are sadder, because it's just having more spending money for stuff like a new LV bag and Chloe jeans rather than having to provide food for a family.

And any sexually active person can get HIV from just one night of forgetting to use a condom. One can even be unlucky and have a condom break.

How will a young adult, in his productive years, fare then? Where will he work? How will his parents accept this? Will he ever have a chance to build a home and family of his own? Will he be forever ostracized while also fighting for his immune system to always work?

And even the most promiscuous of them all... don't they deserve a second chance to contribute good to society?

*~*

My friend Eric's photo was posted in a blog and he was outed as a person with AIDS. He is a person with HIV. But more than that, he is a PERSON with dignity, with people who love him, with feelings that can be hurt.

Cyber bullying people like him, who have changed for the better because of their condition, who are actually doing more good NOW than they did before, is not helping this country move forward.

Shame to those who just want to exploit people like him. Shame to them.

And yes, I don't know how the fight started. I just know that it's still wrong to out people like him. Not when we have such a long way to go in actually helping people like him and possibly saving our kids in the future.

What Have You Done After Ondoy?

2010-03-18T00:33:00.002+08:00

I came from a blogger event sponsored by Ipanema, which was launching its new Giselle Bundchen Colorful Sea Collection. Every new collection is tied up with a cause and this one was ocean life.

They had a speaker earlier on climate change and they showed that clip to us. Of course, I felt ashamed. It's true what the speaker said: climate change is not the future anymore, it is the here and now. And after Ondoy, what have people actually done to prevent another one?

Have we started bringing our own water bottles, or do we still buy mineral water every time we go out?

Have we started switching lights off when not in use?

Have people started carpooling or commuting more instead of bringing their own cars?

Are we throwing our garbage properly?

Are we reusing and recycling?

Are we grilling election cxandidates for specific plans and strategies to protect the environment?

Are we lobbying for our forests?

Are we saving water?

The speaker said (sorry I didn't catch his name) that Kamanava area has sunk 1.5 meters in the past two years. Malate has sunk .5 meters. There is already a water shortage in Cebu. Most of our ports, even our airports and roads are in danger areas because of poor planning and the effects of climate change. Half of the rain we get go out to sea, unutilized by us for power and consumption.

Ondoy affected all of us because our homes got flooded and some of our friends lost loved ones. But the most drastic change people did was to leave their lovely villages behind to start fresh somewhere else. Companies continue sponsoring tree-planting activities without making sure that the trees planted live. More and more beverages are coming out using plastic material. There is still a lack of recyling facilities and we have yet to make something of the rains that devastate our country more and more each year. We also continue using farming and forest lands to build villages and townhomes in (hello people voting for Villar).

We talk about El Niño and complain about the heat. But what have we done? Were we even changed by the Ondoy tragedy at all?

I was really ashamed to answer that my token efforts are good... but I can do more. I must do more if my child is to enjoy something of this country when he grows up.

What Children May Become

2010-03-16T23:59:00.001+08:00

It is my parents' wedding anniversary today. They celebrate 33 years of togetherness, a union fraught with its own unique trials and very personal rewards. It makes me smile when I think about all those times when I was young, watching them fight, praying that they just break up. My goal was limited to no fights at home... am glad they persevered however, even if they're both growing harder to have around. And am glad not because my family is intact, but because I am realizing just how much it requires for a marriage to work.

And that a 'working marriage' is relative. Overall, however, I feel my parents are happier and more fulfilled because they decided to stick it out with each other.

*~*

In a counseling case earlier, I was reminded of how it literally tears a parent up when, despite all their best intentions and careful upbringing, a child will grow up choosing something destructive. It can be a life of crime, a life of hedonistic pleasure, destructive relationships or chemical abuse.

I posted in my FB that I "hope that if the time comes that my son will choose something I totally disagree with, that I'd have the grace to accept that it's not because of my parenting; the courage to let him live his own life and learn from his mistakes; and the wisdom to know when to let go..."

*~*

Through the years I have hurt my parents a lot. I can't even imagine having a child like me. But they are still there for me, and I have learned to be there for them. I'm happy that our relationship didn't end with me making them feel unimportant, their love invalidated, all their sacrifice wasted. I hope, despite the turbulent adolescence, I am now making them feel rewarded for as parents.

Stressed with the Changes

2010-03-09T12:45:00.002+08:00

My Dad is flying back to the US.

My SIL also left for abroad for a six-month gig, leaving behind her son's care to my brother.

I can't help but imagine bad things... like having to pitch in for my nephew's care. And that stresses me. Haha.

I know that things may not necessarily turn out bad... but our dynamics are sure to change and my brother has yet to surprise even himself with better parenting. And of course, since my nephew is a breastfed boy who's turning two in 2 weeks, I can't help but feel for him, all the separation anxiety and terrible two tantrums...

God help me manage my stress. Please.

And help me be a better aunt and mom. A better person.

Turning Gay

2010-02-27T18:06:00.002+08:00

You know how some girls are called BAKLA because they can follow swardspeak and are generally as boisterous as noisy gay guys?

Well, am not like that.

Never been like that.

The most I can be is as sexually-preoccupied as gay guys, I think. But i've had one or two gay friends growing up. Kuya Raul had the noisiest laugh at FAD and the last time I saw him was at my wedding. Jerry is a college friend (seeing as we started with only two boy classmates). I never ran around with them though, mainly because I never worked with any.

Fast forward to now. I met two at my FSL classes and I'm now hanging out with them with their friends and boyfriends. And this morning, I was telling Drith that I was going to go drink and he told me that I am turning gay. Haha. Needs improvement though. Maybe it was all the mistakes we were making at the class that turned out to be 'suggestive' signs.

It sucks though that half the time, I look like their Mom... and that they're better groomed and dressed :D

How Was I? How Were You?

2010-02-22T11:28:00.002+08:00

A former neighbor and playmate who moved away from the neighborhood recently found me on Facebook and was asking me to share pics of me in college and when I was still single.... to fill the years in. We even ask each other if our teeth are still complete, what things we liked doing in college, when we first fell in love, etc.

It was really nice talking.

But that was a time before digital files and I realized that as much as I had sooo many pictures taken before, because I still liked to pose then, I seldom posted pictures on my blog.

And I really have to start scanning my older pics, even if I do have the negatives for them :)

Now, I have half the mind to compile old pics and post them on FB... to remind myself that I was really fun and slim once... and to show others, should they check my profile, that I was fun and slim once. Haha.

Then again, am not sure how hubby's relatives would take to seeing lots of pics of me with my cleavage proud. Ahehe.